MSPARP Adventures
by theholychesse
Summary: Now there is a site. On the internet. Were you can be anyone. In homestuck. Join my adventures with the fans of homestuck who are on this site. Watch me be Karkat, Dave, Jade, anyone! Against... Anyone. Mostly complete crack, although some stuff might come up.
1. Chapter 1

(**I went to to do this. I was Karkat (CG), Jade (GG), and Dave (TG). I how no clue who Nepata was. I applaud them that's for sure.)**

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON A HUMAN TABLET?

AC: :33 -ac looks up- oh hey karkitty

AC: :33 it's interesting and fun!

CG: OKAY

CG: REMEMBER THAT MEOWBEST YOU GAVE A WHILE BACK

AC: :33 yeah

CG: IT CAME BACK TODAY AND IT'S STOMACH HAS A BULDGE

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

AC: :33 -ac tilts her head- what?

AC: :33 i have no idea

CG: I SENT IT OUTSIDE SINCE IT WAS BEING STUPID AND ROLLING ON THE GROUND AND SHIT. IT WAS GONE FOR LIKE A COUPLE OF MONTHS BUT CAM EBACK TODAY WITH A BULDGING STOMACH

CG: IT'S FUCKING WEIRD

AC: :33 um karkitty...i think it might be 'pregnant'

CG: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THAT

AC: :33 well rose told me its like when us trolls have a grub but instead of a bucket it stays in them and then there grubs come or as rose calls them 'babies'

CG: *STARES BLANKLY*

CG: WAIT

CG: WHAT

CG: THAT SLUTTY BEAST! ITS A SWEEP OLD!

AC: :33 h33h33

CG: OH GOG. I'M... OH GOG

AC: :33 -ac typed something in her tablet-

AC: :33 are mew okay?

CG: NEPATA

CG: OH GOD, NO I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY!

CG: ...I SCRACHED IT'S STOMACH

CG: MY HANDS HAVE MEOWBEAST GENITIC AMTERIAL ON THEM

AC: :33 oh no do mew think it would hurt the grubs or babies

AC: :33 eww w!

CG: *GAGS* OH GOD. I NEVER HAD THIS STUFF ON ME

CG: IT'S SLIMY...*BREATHES HEAVILY*

AC: :33 -ac puts her tablet down pushing him to a human bathroom- quick lets wash it off!

CG: OH FUCK YES

CG: OH GOG. THE THING NUZZLELED ME.

AC: :33 -ac turns the water on- here

CG: IT'S NOT ONLY ON MY HANDS! IT'S EVERYWHERE!

AC: :33 um uhh then the shower!

CG: *STRIPS OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES AND HOPS IN WITH THE MOTHER OF ALL SPONGES*

AC: :33 -ac walks out blushing-

CG: OKAY. HOW DID THIS GET FROM ME TALKING ABOUT A MEOWBEST TO ME GETTING NAKED ):B

CG: OH I KNOW

CG: BECAUSE THAT MEOWBEST IS SLUT THAT EVEN THE MOTHERGRUB WOLD BE PROUD

AC: :33 ((haha!))

AC: :33 um j-just finnish up in there

CG: NEPATA

CG: I THINK I'M GOING TO STAY HERE

CG: A WHILE

AC: :33 um okay

CG: I WON'T FEEL CLEAN EVEN AFTER USING 10 BOTTLES OF SOUP

CG: SCALDING, HOT SOUP

CG: NEPATA

CG: BRING ME SOME FUCKING SCALDING, HOT SOUP

CG: I NEED TO FEEL CLEAN

AC: :33 -ac rushes and get the soup- i got it!

CG: *LOOKS AT HANDS DISGUSTLY* FUCK YOU HANDS, FUCK YOU FOR PETTING THE MEOWBEAST

AC: :33 karkitty...

AC: :33 um...

CG: YES, NEPATA?

AC: :33 can mew just come over here?

CG: OKAY

CG: *TURNS OFF WATER AND GOES TO NEPATA WITHOUT CLOTHES*

AC: :33 -ac hands him the soup blushing while looking away-

CG: WHAT? WHATS WRONG WITH ME BEING NAKED? CRABDA SAID IT'S OKAY

CG: *DUMPS SOUP ON HEAD*

AC: :33 it's just kinda awkward

CG: AW FUCK! WHY IS IT SO HOT! ANOTHER!

CG: HOW IS IT AKWARD. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME BODY

AC: :33 okay! -ac rushes grabbing 3 more soups-

CG: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IT'S AKWARD? BUT GAMZEE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY..

AC: :33 it's just kinda wierd...

CG: WEIRD PEOPLE *DUMPS THE SOUP ON BODY* OH I FEEL BETTER. CLEANER THAT'S GOOD

AC: :33 -ac dumps a soup on him trying to help-

CG: THANKS, NEP

AC: :33 -ac nods smiling-

CG: I FEEL BETTER

AC: :33 good!

CG: *BEGINS TO WALK AWAY, STILL NAKED*

CG: NOW

CG: WHERE ARE MY SYCKLES...

AC: :33 um karkitty -ac hands him his clothes- dont kill the meow beast

CG: *PTS ON CLOTHES* WHY THE FUCK NOT. IT TAINTED ME

AC: :33 it's going to have grub

CG: OH. FUCK. FUCKING SHIT

CG: AM I A LUSES NOW?

AC: :33 i think so...

CG: ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

AC: :33 h33h33 wait...mew gave me the meowbeast but we both owned it...how does this work?

CG: OKAY KARKAT CALM TEH FUCK DOWWN. YO ARE JUST A LUSES

CG: OH GOG. THOSE FUCKING GRUBS HAVE TWO LUSII NOW. SPOILED BRATS

AC: :33 h33h33

CG: SERIOULY. TWO LUSII. WHO TEH FUCK HAS TWO LUSII?

AC: :33 the meowbeasts grubs

CG: DON'T CHOSE NOW TO BE A SMARTASS

CG: OKAY

CG: I THINK..

CG: I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK

CG: I'M A FUCKING LUSES. HE

AC: :33 -ac sighs- how is this going to work?

CG: HAHAHAHA

CG: OH GOG. I AM SO DEAD

CG: HEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AC: :33 ...

CG: THE MEOWBEAST IS BACK HEHEHEHE

AC: :33 karkitty no...

CG: COME HERE YOU FUCKING SLUT

CG: YOU MADE ME A LUSES

AC: :33 karkat stop! no don't!

AC: :33 don't hurt her!

CG: WHY IS THIS FUCK SO FUCKING FURRY. IT'S SOOOOO FURRY HEHEHHEH

AC: :33 karkitty...?

CG: AND IT'S EYES, MAN. SO FUCKING GREEN

AC: :33 awww it will have adorable grubs!

CG: IT'S LOOKING AT ME! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

AC: :33 h33h33

CG: MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES

CG: ISN'T THAT WANT GAMZEE SAYS?

AC: :33 yup!

CG: MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES...

CG: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEH HEEHHEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHHEEHHEHEHEEHHEEHE HE

AC: :33 um karkitty

CG: *FAINTS*

AC: :33 ummm...-ac walks over to him-

CG: *SNORES SOFTLY*

AC: :33 h33h33

AC: :33 karkitty...?

CG: *MURMERS IN SLEEP*

AC: :33 hmm..-ac sits next to him-

CG: *HUGS NEPATA'S TAIL SINCE HE SLEEPS EVERYDAY WITH A CRAB PLUSHIE AND NEEDS SOMETHING TO CUDDLE*

AC: :33 -ac blushes giggling-

CG: *SINCE THAT'S HOW HE ROLLS*\

CG: NNG...FLUFFY

AC: :33 karkitten -ac plays with his hair-

CG: *STARTS PURRING*

AC: :33 -ac giggles laying down next to him-

CG: *CUDDLES NEPATA'S WHOLE BODY. NEPATA IS STILL BIGGER*

AC: :33 -ac blushes more-

CG: ...SOFT...*SIGHS HAPPILY*

AC: :33 h33h33

CG: *A LARGE BUZZING IS HEARD*

CG: *DAVE IS STANDING WITH A HORN, GRINNING*

AC: :33 hmm

AC: :33 -ac looks at him giggling-

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now turntechGodhead [TG].

TG: whats going on here

AC: :33 he passed out

TG: from what

TG: what did you do to karkles

AC: :33 the meowbeast is going to have grubs!

TG: what

TG: oh yeah babies. who the fuck has the cat?

AC: :33 and he discovered he was a luses and he passed out laughing

AC: :33 well it's kinda mine and karkitty s...

TG: oh

AC: :33 yeah he freaked out!

TG: so he's a dad

TG: how is that bad?

AC: :33 in a way i guess...

AC: :33 but wait...if she's mine and karkitty s...what does that make me?

TG: oh fuck. youre the mom now. i am so telling everybody

AC: :33 wait what! nononononono!

TG: why?

TG: It's so ironic

AC: :33 how is this ironic -ac trys to get out of karkats grip with no success-

TG: cos it is. you do not question my irony

AC: :33 umm...welp i'm stuck...

TG: yep. hope you like it. the dude has a good grip. it took me a half a day for him to let go of my cape. and he was holding it with his pointy, little teeth

TG: bye. i'm going to tell jade now

AC: :33 -ac sighs giving up-

TG: *walks away*

AC: :33 wait! i n33d help! uggg

turntechGodhead [TG] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: NGG

AC: :33 -ac looked at him-

CG: SO...SOFT

CG: *HUGS CLOSER*

CG: *SIGHS HAPPILY*

AC: :33 karkitty...-ac blushed-

CG: *KARKAT'S LIPS ARE BEHIND YOUR EAR. AND EVERY TIME HE BREATHES IT TICKLES YOUR EAR. THIS SLOOP WOLD BE SO ROMANTIC AND PERFECT FOR SHIPPING SCENES IF THIS FLOOR WASN'T SO DAMN HARD*

AC: :33 -ac blushed brighter-

CG: *THE FLOOR IS REALLY DAMN HARD*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now gardenGnostic [GG].

AC: :33 -ac sighs- oh um hey

GG: Dave you lier. Karkat can;t be- oh!

GG: *Stares* Hi

AC: :33 this...this isn't what it looks like!

gardenGnostic's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

gardenGnostic [GG] joined chat.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

GG: It totally looks like Karkat isn't spooning you

GG: Not at all

AC: :33 -ac blushed brighter- he's not!

GG: You know who would love this

GG: The resident therapest, Rose

AC: :33 no!

GG: Should I call hear? *Grins evily*

gardenGnostic [GG] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

AC: :33 no please noon

CG: PANCAKES AND CALOTAS...*SNORES*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now gardenGnostic [GG].

AC: :33 -ac's face is a bright olive-

GG: What do i get?

AC: :33 i don't know! um what do mew want?

GG: You don't put me on your shipping walls?

AC: :33 okay deal just don't tell anyone!

GG: Oh okay. Karkles *holds bucket in one hand*

AC: :33 oh gog...

GG: *puts in front of KArkat's face*

GG: Hehe

AC: :33 ...this isn't going to end well...

GG: *Smacks his face with bucket*

gardenGnostic [GG] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

AC: :33 oh gog...

CG: *OPENS EYES* ...HUH?

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AC: :33 ummm...

CG: *SCREAMS VERY UNMANLYLY THEN SPAZES THE FUCK OUT*

AC: :33 karkitty calm down!

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] disconnected.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

CG: AHHHHH

AC: :33 -ac hugs him trying to confort him- its okay!

CG: *TEARS START IN EYES, WITH THE THE SPAZZING, WHIMPERING AND NOW THE TEARS JADE NOW STARTS LAUGHING LIKE MAD*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now gardenGnostic [GG].

AC: :33 -ac wipes his tears away hugging him tighter- that was mean jade!

GG: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh god. This is so funny!

AC: :33 mew can't tell anyone of this either!

AC: :33 this is just... mean!

gardenGnostic [GG] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: AHTERIHJKLBEHKLSD

AC: :33 karkitty it's okay! shhhh!

CG: *STARTS SPEAKING IN ALTERIAN*

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] disconnected.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

AC: :33 karkitty it's okay it's okay!

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] disconnected.

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

CG: *JUMPS ON FEET, DUMPING NEPATA ON FLOOR WITH A LOUD THUMP*

CG: *LOOKS AT BUCKET AND RUNS*

AC: :33 ouch! karkitty wait!

AC: :33 karkitty...

CG: *RUNS FAR, FAR AWAY. KARKAT IS NEVER SEEN AGAIN*

CG: THE. FUCKING. END

AC: :33 well damn

CG: *THE MEOWBEAST IS STILL SMUG AS FUCK*

AC: :33 stupid thing...

CG: IT GIVES BIRTH TO 5 GRUB BABIES AND NEPATA IS A SINGLE MOTHER

AC: :33 ffffuuuuucccckkkkk

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now undyingUmbrage [uu].

On-her-tablet! arsenicCatnip's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

uu: *SAYS IN AN OLD MAN VOICE* NOW KIDS. THIS IS WHY CATS ARE EVIL. NOW YOu LITTLE SHITS. *TAKES OuT MACHINE GuN* DIEEEEEEEEE! *SHOOTS EVERYWHERE*


	2. Chapter 2, More Talking

This is a not safe for work chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

gardenGnostic [GG] joined chat.

CG: HEY JADE HUMAN

GG: hey karkat

GG: whats up?

CG: OH ALL GOOD

CG: EXCEPT THAT CRABDAD TURNED PINK

GG: ...pink really? thats weird

CG: SO EVERYTHING IS DOWNRIGHT PEACHY

CG: YEAH. I BLAME FEFERI

GG: oh jeez

CG: SHE LIKES PINK. PINK + LUSII= FEFERI SHIT

GG: yeah i guess that sounds fair...

CG: HAS DAVE-DOUCHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE...

CG: THE...UH...

GG: the what?

CG: THE VIDEOS OF...

CG: ME..SINGING?

GG: hmmm no he hasnt

CG: OH

CG: OH GOG

GG: what?

CG: I JUST PUT IT INTO YOUR THINKPAN DIDN'T I?

CG: FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK

GG: hehe it cant be THAT bad!

CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?

CG: I SOUND FUCKING TERRIBLE

GG: ok ok if it bugs you so bad i wont ask him or anything

CG: BUT YOU KNOW ABOUT IT AND YOU WILL TELL EGBERT WHO CAN'T SHUT HIS FUCKING MOUTH AND...UGH

GG: karkat i wont tell john

CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SURE

GG: yes!

CG: I MEAN I SOUND FUCKING AWEFUL

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THIS YELLEING DOES TO MY VOICE?

CG: NOTHING AT ALL ACTUALLY

GG: pffft

GG: i still say youre overreacting but whatever

CG: OVERREACTING!? HAVE I EVER DONE THAT? ACTUALLY SHUT UP

CG: I DO NOT DO 'OVERREACTING'

GG: mmhm

CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

GG: hmmm? i wasnt doing anything!

CG: I COULD SEE IT IN YOUR NON-VISIBLE EYES

GG: :p

CG: P:B

CG: WHAT ARE "DICKS?" DAVE KEEPS ON TALKING ABOUT THEM

GG: theyre uh a human male anatomy thing

CG: THAT'S PREETY FUCKING SPECIFIC

CG: LIKE WHAT?

GG: well only boys have them thats why its so specific

CG: DAMN YOU AND YOUR SPECIS

CG: WHY MUST YOU HAVE GENDERS?

GG: i thought trolls were separated between male and female too?

CG: NOT REALLY. IT'S A FASION REALLY. WE CAN BE ANYTHING. WE HAVE THE STUFF

GG: huh...i didnt know that

CG: YEAH. ONE MINUTE I CAN BE LIKE THIS THE NEXT I COULD BE WALKING AROUND WITH TIGHTS AND A MINI-SKIRT

GG: ...well uh thats an interesting mental image :|

CG: GAZE ON IT. IT'S FUCKING MARVALOUS

GG: HEY JADE-HUMAN

GG: yeah whats up?

CG: CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

GG: sure!

CG: YOU ARE LIKE ONE OF TEH MOST TRUST WORTHY PEOPLE HERE

GG: aw! thanks :)

CG: I...AM REALLY FUCKING SHORT

GG: ...uh karkat thats not what i would call top secret

CG: JADE

CG: I LIVE IN A SOICITY WHERE IN ORDER TO LIVE YOU NEED TO KILL OTHERS OF YOUR KIND OR SCARE THEM AWAY

CG: I'M NOT REALLY THE SCARING AWAY MATERIAL WITH MY FUCKING HEIGHT

CG: AND KILLING...I DIDN'T AND STILL DON'T LIKE IT

GG: well that sounds pretty normal to me? i mean not liking killing

GG: but karkat everyone has seen you and knows how tall you ae

GG: are*

CG: I MAY OR NOT BE WEARING SLACKS

GG: ok?

CG: DO YOU WONDER WHY MY PANTS ARE SO LONG?

GG: sometimes yeah

CG: TO COVER THE FUCKERS UP

gardenGnostic [GG] disconnected.

CG: WHAT?

CG: OK

CG: THAT'S WEIRD

CG: BYR JADE

CG: *BYE

CG: GOG DAMNIT I CAN'T SPELL

carcinoGeneticist [CG] disconnected.


	3. Chapter 3, What the frick

(I was Karkat and Crabdad was weird.)

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

Crabdad [Crabdad] joined chat.

CG: CRABDAD

CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU USE A COMPUTER

Crabdad: IDFSKJGSD

Crabdad: JGD

CG: YOU HAVE PINCERS

Crabdad: JDXNYGWMHD

CG: NON CHOCLATE

Crabdad: HDIFC

Crabdad: JEVSAF

CG: YOU ARE A FUCKING CRAB

Crabdad: KFCDIVFIS

CG: WUT?

CG: FUCK NO

Crabdad: KENTUCKY MOTHERFUCKING FRIED CHICKIN

CG: NOT NOW AND NOT EVER

Crabdad [Crabdad] disconnected.

CG: OH GOG

carcinoGeneticist [CG] disconnected.


	4. Chapter 4, Woah, Creepy

(Warning: This chapter has horror and a bit of love (not enough for rating M)

(I was Karkat and some poor girl was Sollux. I thank you for letting me abuse Sollux!)

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

CG: SOLLUX?

TA: kk?

TA: that is y0u right?

CG: WHAT..WHAT HAPPENED?

TA: i think it was eridan

CG: THAT SON A BITCH

CG: WHERE DID THE FUCKER GO!?

TA: i d0nt kn0w

CG: SOLLUX. I AM GOING TO AVENGE YOUR EYES. I WILL PERSONLLY GOGUE OUT THAT FISH'S EYES FOR YO

TA: if y0u really want t0 g0 ahead

TA: im n0t really in any p0siti0n t0 d0 anything

CG: DO YO WANT ME TO OR YOU OR WHAT?

TA: i d0nt really care 0ne way 0r the 0ther

CG: DUDE. REVENGE WILL BE DONE *TAKES OUT SYCKLES*

TA: whatever y0u want t0 d0

CG: *STORMS OFF INTO METEOR*

CG: *A FEW MINUTES LATER*

CG: I'M BACK, SOLLUX

TA: welc0me back

CG: I HAVE THAT BASTARD'S EYES

TA: i really needed t0 kn0w that

CG: HE MIGHT RIGHT NOW BE BLEEDING TO DEATH

CG: DO WE CARE?

TA: is that a legitimate questi0n?

CG: HIS LIFE IN YOUR HANDS NOW

TA: wait what?

TA: why?

CG: HE'S THE ONE WHO TOOK YOUR EYES. YOUR WEAPONS, REALLY, YOUR PROTECTION

TA: i kn0w

CG: THIS ENDAGERS YOUR LIFE

CG: SO AN EYE FOR AN EYE AND A LIFE FOR A LIFE

blind!twinArmageddons's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat.

TA: i kn0w!

CG: SO YOU CHOSE. LIFE OR DEATH FOR THAT NOOKSUCKER?

TA: i cant ch00se s0mething like that!

CG: WELL. LET'S HAVE HIM CHOSE

CG: *RUNS OFF AND BEGANS DRAGGING SOMETHING*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now caligulasAquarium [CA].

CA: im sorry sol! don't let kar kill me!

CA: ((This getting creepy))

TA: *d0esnt kn0w what t0 d0* ((n0 d0ubt))

caligulasAquarium [CA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: HURRY SOLLUX. I CAN SAVE HIM, BUT WAIT TO LONG AND THE BITCH WILL BLEED OUT

TA: i d0nt kn0w! d0 y0u kn0w h0w much pressure this is?

CG: ((THSI IS THE SECOND CREEPEST THING I'VE DONE HERE))

TA: ((eh ive seen creepier))

TA: ((but n0t in the sense like this

TA: ))

CG: DEATH OR LIFE. DEATH OR LIFE? DEATH OR LIFE? DEATH OR LIFE? DEATH OR LIFE?

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now caligulasAquarium [CA].

CA: i don't wwant to die!

caligulasAquarium [CA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

TA: shut up kk! *runs it thr0ugh his head multiple times* just save him 0k! i d0nt want t0 be resp0nsible f0r s0me0nes death!

CG: OH TOO LATE. HE BLEED OUT (:B

CG: REVENGE, EH?

TA: ((pl0t twist!))

CG: SWEET, ISN'T IT?

CG: ((MEGA PLOT TWIST))

TA: it wasnt my revenge s0 im n0t tasting it

CG: BUT..HE TOOK YOUR EYES AND FEFERI..

TA: yeah and i still hate him f0r that

CG: SO..HE DESVERED!

TA: but i didnt want t0 be the cause 0f any0ne elses death

TA: n0t like with aa

CG: ...YOU'RE STUPID

TA: maybe

CG: HEHE. YOU ARRRRREEEEE SOOOOO FUCKING STUUUPPIIIIDDD!

blind!twinArmageddons's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

CG: DON'T YOU SEE THAT ONE SCUM OF THE WORLD IS GONE? HE DERVERED TO DIE.

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat.

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat.

TA: maybe i am but im n0t a murder crazy psych0

CG: I AM NOT A PSYCHO!

CG: I SIMPLY GIVE THESE BASTARDS THEIR FUCKING COMPUENCE!

CG: LIKE GAMZEE! LIKE VRISKA!

TA: kk maybe y0u sh0uld calm d0wn

CG: THEY GOT THEIR FUCKING COMPUNCE! DIDN'T THEY FUCKING DESERVE IT?

TA: maybe

TA: maybe n0t

TA: i d0nt kn0w

CG: MAYBE? YOU ARE SO STUPID.

CG: YOU CAN'T FUCKING TELL EVIL FROM GOOD

TA: s0 y0uve said

CG: OH..HEHEHEHE

CG: I KNOW WHY YOU ARE SO STPID

CG: THAT BITCH BROKE YOUR THINKPAN WITH YOUR EYES, RIGHT?

TA: n0

CG: YOU NEED TO BE FIXED.

TA: what?

CG: HEHE

CG: I LOVVVVEEE FIXING

CG: HEHEHEHE

CG: ((SO FREAKING CREEPY MAN))

TA: kk? are y0u sure y0ure 0k?

TA: ((i kn0w right?))

CG: OKKKKKAAAYYYY? WHAT'S THAT?

CG: HEHEHEHEEHHEHHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH

TA: kk?

CG: FIX...ING

CG: *RAISES SYCKLES*

CG: TAVROS NEEDED FIXING TOO

TA: kk what are y0u d0ing?

CG: TERIZI TOO

CG: I'M GOING TO FIX YOU

CG: MAKE YO WHOLE AGAIN

TA: what?

CG: BUT FIRST...

CG: WE NEED TO TAKE IT ALLLLLLL OUT

TA: what? *panicking*

CG: HEHEHEHEEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH

CG: WHICH WAY?

CG: THROUGH THE EARS OR THE NOSE?

TA: what? *trying t0 back away*

CG: OR MAYBE...

CG: ...THE EYES?

CG: YOU CHOSE. LIKE YOU DID WITH ERIDEN

TA: *still backing up* kk what the hell is g0ing 0n?

CG: *KNOCKS ON HEAD*

CG: ((THIS IS SO CREEPY, MAN))

TA: ((i kn0w i l0ve it))

TA: ((theres literally alm0st n0 shipping))

TA: ((its w0nderfully creepy))

CG: ((I LOVE THIS TOO))

TA: *starts backing up faster*

CG: MY MUTENT BRAIN

CG: WAS BROKEN. I HAD TO FIX IT

TA: what?

CG: LOOK AT ME! AREN'T I BETTER NOW?

TA: i d0nt kn0w!

TA: i cant see!

CG: WELL, LISTEN TO ME THEN

CG: I AM SOO MUCH BETTER NOW

TA: i d0nt kn0w whether 0r n0t thats true

CG: DON'T I MAKE MUCH MORE SENCE

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] disconnected.

blind!twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat.

TA: n0

CG: DON'T I SEEM BETTER?

TA: y0u seem insane

CG: IN CAN FIX YOU. AMYBE YOU CAN LIVE

TA: im alive n0w!

CG: UNLIKE THE OTHERS..

CG: NO! YOU'RE BROKEN! YOU AEW GOING TO DIE LIKE THIS!

CG: *PINS TO WALL WITH SYCKLES*

TA: n0 im n0t! *tries t0 get 0ff 0f the wall*

CG: ((WHAT LIKE SPIDERMAN?))

TA: ((n0 like a guy stuck 0n a wall))

TA: ((i havent seen spiderman s0 if that was supp0sed t0 be a j0ke its WAY 0ver my head))

CG: THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAID. THEY BECAME BETTER WITH MY HELP

TA: ill be fine

CG: THEY MADE SUCH BROKEN SOUNDS

CG: YOU WILL TOO

CG: BUT THEN YOU BE FIXED

TA: im n0t br0ken!

CG: SEE! ONLY THE BROKEN SAY THEY ARE BROKEN

CG: FIXING

CG: *BRINGS SYCKE TO SOLLUX'S EAR*

CG: SO THE EAR THEN?

TA: *tries t0 escape fr0m him* get away fr0m me!

CG: BUT...WHY?

CG: FIXING IS GOOD

TA: i d0nt need fixing!

CG: *LEANS CLOSE TO EAR* I HURT LIKE HELL THOUGH

CG: *IT

TA: y0ure insane

CG: I'M NOT

CG: I USED TO BE. I'M FIXED NOW

CG: DO I SEEM INSANE? NO.

TA: n0 kk y0u definitely seem crazy

CG: INSANE. IN SEINE. YOU KNOW ON EARTH THERE IS A RIVER CALLED SEINE?

CG: CRAZY, AROUND THE BEND, BONKERS, INSANE, MAD\

CG: BROKEN

CG: SAME THING

CG: ALL THE THINGS ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE

TA: kk im n0t the 0ne with the weap0ns here

TA: im n0t crazy

CG: YES. YOUR WEAPONS WERE TAKEN AWAY BY THAT FISH BASTARD.

CG: BUT CRAZY? HE, YOU ARE

TA: ill admit that i d0 s0metimes hear v0ices but i tune them 0ut

CG: SEE? YOU WERE LIKE ME BEFORE.

TA: its n0t an issue!

CG: I THOUGHT I SAW THE PAST. THE GLORIOUS AND PEACEFUL PAST

CG: BUT YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR WORDS, IT WAS ALL A LIE

CG: A FILFTY LIE!

TA: im n0t lying

CG: LIES LIES

CG: OH! AN IDEA

CG: YOU SEEM TO BE REALLY BROKEN

CG: MAYBE GO THROUGH THE SKULL? WAHT DO YOU THINK?

CG: AND THEN..

CG: TO YOUR BROKEN MIND

CG: YEAH! SUCH A GOOD IDEA! WHAT DO YOU THINK, BROKEN BOY?

TA: *freaking 0ut* kk y0ure 0ut 0f y0ur mind

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CG: I AM ALL IN MY MIND SOLLUX

TA: karkat y0ure n0t g0ing t0 fix anything just put y0ur sickles away

CG: *POUTS* OKAY

CG: FOR NOW ANY WAY

CG: YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD. AND YOU MADE ME GO AWAY FROM IT TOO

CG: BUZZKILL

TA: *thinks: 0h my g0d that actually w0rked*

CG: *ROCKS ON HEELS* SOOOOOOOO

CG: (:B

CG: HUNGREY?

TA: n0t really

CG: OH COME ON! YOU LAZY SON OF A BITCH!

CG: WANT TO SEE ARADIA?

TA: what?

CG: YOU KNOW, VISIT HER?

TA: didnt she expl0de?

CG: YOU KNOW THERE ARE MORE BOTS?

TA: n0 they all expl0ded t00

CG: WELL DAMNIT *SITS ON FLOOR, PUTS HEAD ON HANDS*

CG: THERE IS NOTHING TO DO!

TA: i n0ticed

CG: COULD I FIX YOU NOW?

TA: n0!

CG: FUCKING JOYKILL...

CG: OH! *SMACKES HEAD*

TA: what?

CG: *COME HERE, GRABS SOLLUX'S HAND*

CG: LET'S GO!

TA: where are we g0ing?

CG: *DRAGS SOLLUX, YOU ALMOST TRIP OVER SOMETHING LIKE WATER BUT THICKER*

CG: MIND TEH BLOOD!

TA: what? *stumbles al0ng behind him*

CG: HERE!

CG: LOOK!

CG: ER, SORRY FEEL!

TA: *feels in fr0nt 0f him* what am i supp0sed t0 be feeling here?

CG: I BROGHT YOUR LUSES BACK, WITH GAMZEE'S AND VRISKA'S HELP

TA: what?

CG: YEAH! IT'S ALL THERE! *SQUELCH* ER, ALMOST!

TA: what was that n0ise?

CG: *MORE SQUELCHING* NOTHING! COME ON YOU FUCKERS..

TA: kk what are y0u d0ing?

CG: WELL, YOUR NEW/OLD LUSES IS A BIT UNSTABLE, SO I HAVE TO BUT IT BACK TIGATHER A BIT...

CG: THERE! GOOD AS NEW!

TA: put him back t0gether?

CG: YEAH. GAMZEE AND VRISKA DID A CRAPPY JOB

TA: h0w did y0u bring him back?

CG: TRADE SECRET~

CG: ((YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THE LSES, RIGHT))

TA: ((yup))

CG: ((HEHEH I AM JST A PYCHO))

TA: ((n0ted))

CG: COME ON! DOESN'T HE FEEL LIKE THE OLD ONE?

TA: s0mewhat

CG: WHAT'S NOT RIGHT?

TA: im n0t sure he just feels...different

CG: WHERE IS IT? *PUTS HANDS ABOVE SOLLUX'S*

TA: *feels ar0und his lusus's heads* s0mewhere in this area

CG: YEAH. WHY DOES GAMZEE'S HEAD HAVE TO BE THIS BIG...

TA: wait what? *pulls his hands back quickly*

CG: HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

TA: ... *l00ks terrified and h0rrified at the same time*

CG: YOU DIDN'T DID YOU? HEHEHEEHHEHAHAHAHAHA

CG: OH, THAT'S FUCKING PRICELESS! HAHAHAHA

CG: 'GAMZEE'S AND VRISKA'S HELP' THINK ABOUT THAT

CG: I SAID THEY GOT THEIR COMUPENCE. SO WHY WOULD I WORK WITH THEM?

TA: *freaking 0ut inside*

CG: AM I SCARING YOU, BROKEN BOY

TA: im n0t br0ken

CG: *GROWLS* YOU CONVENCED ME TO NOT FIX YOU

CG: LOOK AT WHAT THIS LED TO. *SIGHS*

TA: *starts backing up*

CG: OH NO. *PINS AGAIN TO WALL*

CG: NOW I'M DOING IT PROPERLLY

TA: *l00ks abs0lutely terrified*

CG: OR MAYBE

CG: *NIPS EAR* HAVE A LITTLE MORE FUN BEFORE THAT?

CG: ((OKAY, NOW WE ARE IN TEH SHIPPING AREA, FLIPPEN HELL*

TA: ((g0d damn y0ud make a fantastic s0ber gamzee))

CG: ((THANKS, I TRY ;O)))

CG: *BITES EAR SHARPLY* YOUR BLOOD IS BEAUTIFUL, EVER TELL YOU THAT?

TA: *tries t0 get 0ut 0f his grip*

CG: WHAT? I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THIS. *PINS HANDS ABOVE HEAD* PLEASUREBUL

CG: ((ARE YOU OKAY WITH MAKING THIS A SHIIPING THING NOW?))

TA: ((ill be fine))

CG: ((LICKS BLOOD)) YOU KNOW WHAT THIS TASTES LIKE?

TA: n-n0 *panic is evident in his v0ice*

CG: DELSIOUS *CHOMPS ON MORE EAR*

CG: ((ONOMNOMNOMNOM X)))

TA: *grimaces in pain but d0esnt make any n0ise* ((dude this is freaking creepy))

CG: HEY SOLLUX. EVER WONDER WHY I DIDN'T HOOK UP PROPERLY WITH TERIZI?

CG: ((I ALWAYS THOUGHT I'LL BE THE ONE RECEING THE CREEPY LICKS, THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FIRST TIME DOING ANYTHING LIKE THIS))

TA: i w0uldnt kn0w whether y0u did 0r n0t

CG: I WASN'T FLUSHED ENOUGH

TA: ((hehe i cant d0 stuff like that))

TA: ((its t00 creepy f0r me))

TA: ((ill r0ll with it i just cant DO it))

CG: BUT NOW...*SLIDES ONE HAND OVER CHEST* I AM SO FUCKING FLUSHED

CG: *KISSES VIOLENTLY* ((SMEXY TIMES!))

TA: *abject terr0r*

CG: ((NOT REALLY, NOT GOING BEYOND NO SHIRTS))

TA: ((phew))

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CG: *PULLS AWAY, SALIVA DROPPING* LIKE THAT? (( GOD I FEEL SO FREAKING DIRTY))

TA: *l00ks in his general directi0n in terr0r* ((dude its fine))

CG: NO? HOW ABOAT THIS! *CLAWS CHEST, BLOOD FLOWS OUT*

CG: HE! YOU LIKE?

TA: *cries 0ut in pain*

CG: AH. LIKE MUSIC IN MY EARS...

CG: *LICKS BLOOD AND KISSES AGAIN, STROKING HIS CHEST*

TA: *cries 0ut again fr0m the c0ntact*

CG: MAYBE I SHOULD LET YOU LEED.. *FLIPS SOLLUX OVER THAT KARKAT IS UNDERNEATH SOLLUX*

TA: *tries t0 get up and run*

CG: *STILL HOLDING WRISTS* AH, AH, AH. BAD, BAD BOY. *KISSES AGAIN*

TA: *tries t0 pull himself away fr0m his grip 0n his wrists*

CG: YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAD? SO BE IT. *FLIPS BACK TO SOLLUX ON BOTTEM* *BEGANS KISSING AND BITING NECK*

TA: get 0ff! *tries t0 push him 0ff*

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP! *HOLDS SYCKES TO NECK* I HAVE TRIED TO COMFERT YOU BEFORE THE PAINFUL FIXING, BUT NO. YOU WANT THE PAIN.

CG: ((OH BY THE WAY I'M A CHICK))

TA: *freezes when he feels it 0n his neck* ((me t00))

CG: ((EVERYONE IS A CHICK!)) SO

CG: PAIN OR PLEASURE

TA: just get it 0ver with already ive kn0wn that i was d00med fr0m the start ((i think every0n0n this site is female))

CG: ((ME TOO..)) *SMILES* SO

CG: *BEGINS TO SCALP* FIXING TIME!

CG: *CUT TO A FEW BOURS LATER*

CG: *HOURS

CG: SO SOLLUX, THINK YOU'RE FIXED?

TA: *cant think straight*

CG: OH DEAR. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TAKEN A BIT MUCH

CG: OH WELL! AS LONG AS EVERYONE'S HERE AND FIXED *THE BODIES OF 10 TROLLS LAY SCATTERED*

CG: ALL'S WELL (:B

TA: *stays c0llapsed 0n the gr0und*

CG: AND SWEET, SWEET SOLLUX. *BRINGS SOLLUX CLOSER* ISN'T IT BETTER LIKE THIS?

CG: *DEAD SILENCE IS IN THE ROOM*

TA: *psi0nics start sparking even th0ugh his eyes are g0ne*

CG: SHHH. IT'S OKAY.

TA: *psi0nics start g0ing 0ut 0f c0ntr0l*

CG: *KARKAT AND THE METOER IS DESTROYES*

TA: ((yay))

TA: ((d00m))

CG: ((THE END!))

TA: ((that was fun))

CG: ((BYE I GUESS))

TA: ((bye))

CG: ((THSI THING HUGE..))

TA: ((yep and im saving this thing))

TA: ((sh0w it t0 my friends 0r s0mething))

CG: ((YEP ME TOO, IS IT OKAY IF I PUT THIS A FANFIC?))

TA: ((please d0 and i want t0 see it s0mewhere))

TA: ((0n right?))

CG: ((YEP, A GOT A FEW MORE THERE))

TA: ((0h c00l! i have them t00!))

CG: ((MOST IS CRACK, BUT THIS, THIS MIGHT NOT BE))

TA: ((this w0uld fit under h0rr0r w0uld it n0t?))

CG: ((IT'S CALLED MSPARP ADVENTURES))

TA: ((ill l00k f0r it))

CG: ((THIS IS UNIQUE CASE, I'M GOING TO PUT A WARNING))

CG: ((BYE))

TA: ((bye!))

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	5. Chapter 5, Hallusanations

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

CG: HEY

GA: Hello

CG: HOW ARE YOU DOING?

GA: I Am Bored. How About Yourself?

CG: JUST FINE, WELL I MIGHT HAVE SUSTANED A GREVIOUS INJURY A BIT BEFORE, BUT NOW I'M PEACHY

GA: What Kind Of Injury?

CG: INJURY TO THE HEAD. HURT LIKE A BITCH

GA: Are You Sure Your Okay

GA: ?

CG: WEEELL. I MIGHT BE HALLCINATING NOW, JUST A BIT. OH PRETTY!

GA: What Are You Seeing?

CG: LIKE A LOT OF THINGS. I'M ALSO HEARING THINGS. LIKE A BIT BEFORE I SAW A UTOPIAN SOCIETY BUT NOW I'M JUST SEEING A BUNCH OF COLOURS...OOOOO...

GA: Maybe You Should See A Doctor. You Might Have A Concussion

CG: NAW. I'M FINE...OH GOG

CG: OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

GA: I Dont Think So... Can I Have A Look At Your Head?

CG: YEAH...JUST ARE YOU SEEING THIS?! OH FLYING FUCK ON A STICK

GA: No I Am Not Seeing What It Is That You Are. *Begins To Check His Head And Looks In His Eyes For And Difference That Might Say Why He Is Seeing What He Is*

CG: HEHE. LIKE FUCK. THAT'S...THAT'S PRETTY ORBID SHIT

CG: *MORBID

GA: Karkat How Hard Were You Hit In The Head And By What?

CG: I UH...WELL I FELL DOWN WHEN I WAS TRYING TO FIX MY LIGHTS, HOW HARD I DON'T KNOW

GA: Did You Pass Out When You Fell?

CG: YEAH FOR LIKE AN HOUR

CG: OR TWO

CG: OR FOUR

GA: Karkat I Think You Should Lie Down. Do You Want Me To Call An Ambulance Or Something?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS AN AMBULANCE? SERIOULY, WHO SHOOTS SOMEONE WITH AN ARROW IN THE SIDE?

GA: Wait What? Karkat Here Lie Down. *Begins To Check His Head Again* Okay I Dont Think You Have A Concussion But You Did Hit Your Head Pretty Hard. You Will Have A Bad Bump.

CG: GOG DAMNIT. WAIT IS THAT YOU? NO IT'S LIKE AN OLDER YOU. THAT'S A OLD NEPATA AND OLD EQUIUS WITHH HIS COMPLETE HORNS AND- HOLY FUCK

CG: THAT'S...THAT'S LIKE AN OLD ME!

GA: Karkat Calm Down And Lay Down. You Need To Rest Other Wise You Will Get A Bad Headache.

GA: Wait How Do I Look Once I Am Older?

CG: NO. THIS IS SO FUCKED UP. LIKE...WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN!

CG: YOU LOOK PRETTY DAMN GOOD

CG: ((YOU KNOW WHAT KARKAT'S 'HALLUCNATING'

CG: ((NOW, RIGHT))

GA: ((Yeah I Think So))

GA: Okay... You Really Are Hallucinating Alot Of Odd Things Arent You?

CG: YEAH...LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. I THINK THE OLD ME OR SOMETHING JUST DIED. FUCK.

GA: Okay Then... Maybe You Need Some Ice For That Bump. *Brings Over Ice And Sets It On His Head.*

GA: Does That Help?

CG: THANKS. YEAH IT DOES. AM I BLEEDING?

GA: Not That I Can Tell. Do The Hallucinations Go Away When You Close Your Eyes?

CG: NO. THEY JUST BECOME MORE REAL.

GA: Okay Then. Don'T Close Your Eyes. Do You Think If You Focused On Just One Thing It Might Help.

CG: MAYBE. HOW ABOUT BLOOD?

GA: There Is No Blood. How About Try Focusing On Me And See If You Can Get The Hallucinations To Go Away.

CG: OKAY. 0 - 0

CG: NO. I'M SEEING OLD YOU PLAYING WITH LIKE A REALLY YOUNGER ME WITH A CLOAK

CG: THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING NICE OF YOU

GA: Uh... Your Welcome... Maybe If You Just Focus On One Of Your Senses.

CG: OKAY. I'M TASTING. I'M TASTING. I'M TASTING. FUCK. I'M FUCKING TASTING BLOOD! MY BLOOD!

GA: Karkat When Was The Last Time You Had Water Or Food?

CG: WATER LIKE 10 HOURS AGO AND FOOD A FEW DAYS AGO

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GA: You Need To Get Something In Your System. This Might Explain The Hallucinations. * Grabs Him Some Water And Food And Brings That Over* Here

CG: *EATS AND DRINKS A LITTE*

CG: I'M FULL

GA: Okay Are They Going Away Or At Least Fading?

CG: GETTING A BIT REAL ACTALLY

CG: *MORE

GA: Uhhh I Dont Know What To Do Now. Any Ideas?

CG: OH WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK. CAN I DO THAT?

GA: Do What?

CG: TH EOTHER ME IS...HE GOT INJURED AND WAS BLEEDING PRETTY BADLY AND...THE BLOOD JUST FLOWED BACK INSIDE THE WOUND...

GA: How Is That Possible. Was Something Going On Around Him That Could Have Caused This?

CG: NO, HE WAS JUST STABBED BY ANOTHER TROLL AND HE HAD A PRETTY PENSIVE LOOK ON HIS FACE LIKE HE WAS WILLING IT TO MOVE.

GA: Oh Wow... Well They Seem Like Really Sad Hallucinations, Most Of Them. Geez I Cant Figure Out How To Get Ride Of Them. Why Should We Try Now?

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO NOW? CUT MYSELF SO I CAN SEE IF I CAN DO THAT. CAN I HAVE A KNIFE OR SOMETHING?

GA: No You Can Not! We Dont Need You Injured More Than You Already Are. How About We Just Poke Your Finger With A Needle Or Something And See.

CG: YEAH, THAT PROBABLY WILL WORK TOO.

GA: Okay. *Hands Him One Of Her Needles For Sowing.* Wait. With All Your Hallucinations Will You Even Be Able To See Your Hand While Doing This?

CG: YEAH, THEY WILL JUST BE IN THE BACKROUND. I CAN SEE BOTH WHAT I SEE AND MY HALLUNATIONS. *POKES THUMB*

CG: OKAY THERE GOES THE BLOOD. *LOOKS AT BLOOD THOUGHTFULLY*

CG: *BLOOD STOPS FLOWING*

CG: YOU...YOU SEE THAT!?

GA: Ummm Wow That Is Actually Really Cool. *Moves Closer To Karkat And Takes Hand And Looks At The Blood That Isn'T Moving.* That Is Really Cool. *Looks Up Into Karkats Eyes.* Ummm So Who All Do You See In The Background Right Now?

CG: YEP.

CG: I'M SEEING- OH GOG

CG: *CLOSES EYES* STILL SEE IT!

CG: EHHHH. I HAVE A FEELING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS

GA: What Are You Seeing?!

CG: UH...OLD ME AND OLD NEPATA ARE..GETTING IT ON

CG: EHHHH *SHIVERS*

CG: OH THANK GOG IT'S GONE

GA: Okay Then... Thats Not A Pleasant Thought. So You Like Nepeta?

CG: I DON'T KNOW! IF I DO THEN NOT LIKE THIS!

CG: OKAY NOW I'M SEEING OLD ME GIVING SOME KIND OF SERMON IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF TROLLS

GA: Oh My God. Karkat The Priest. I Never Would Have Seen That Coming. *Gives A Light Giggle*

CG: YEAH. *CHUCKLES* THEY MASSES SEEM VERY INTRESTED. ALL WIDE EYED AND SHIT

GA: *Laughes Again. Begins To Think A Bit About The Hallucinations.* I Just Remembered That Sometimes A Stimulant Can Help Get Ride Of The Hallucinations. Like A Distraction Or Something.

CG: LIKE WHAT?

GA: I Dont Know Exactly. I Heard Physical Stimulants Work Sometimes. Some Say Medication Helps. I Don'T Know. What Do You Want To Try?

CG: PINCHING?

GA: *Pinches His Arm* I'M Pretty Sure That Didn'T Work. Ummm Can I Try Something... For Scientific Reasons Only.

CG: YEAHHHHHHH...?

GA: *Steps Close To Karkat* You Sure?

CG: UM...YEAH?

GA: *Kanaya Grabbs His Cheeks And Kisses Karkat For A Few Seconds Before Pulling Away.* I Was Told That Physical Contact Works Sometimes As A Good Distraction.

CG: UHHHHHH

CG: UM...WHAT

CG: ((IS THIS A SHIPPING THING OR WHAT?))

GA: ((No Just An Idea Sorry))

CG: ((OKAY, JUST WONDERING))

CG: OKAY! LETS GET THAT OVER WITH..

GA: ...Yeah Sorry.

CG: UH, YEAH NO MORE HALLUSNATIONS, NOW

GA: Thats Good.

GA: (( Hey Sorry I G2g Make Dinner For My Sis. Sorry. Bye

GA: ))

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M PRETTY FUCKING...SLEEPY NOW. IS IT OKAY IF I SLEEP?


	6. Chapter 6, They Have A Universe

gardenGnostic [GG] joined chat.

Psycho!Karkat [CCG] joined chat.

CCG: Hello Jade

GG: hey karkat! :)

CCG: How are you this fine day?

GG: i'm great, how about you?

CCG: I am good, eh-yeah

GG: thats umm good.

CCG: What is wrong?

GG: nothing.

CCG: Okie dokie

GG: are you ok?

CCG: Yep. Why wouldn't I be...?

GG: i don't you seem different.

CCG: Different? How soooooo~~?

GG: just a little more happy

CCG: You say as if it is a bad thing

CCG: ((Hello?))

GG: ((sorry.))

GG: no its not a bad thing. i was just saying.

CCG: ((It's okay)) I somehow find that hard to believe

GG: what does that suppose to mean. i said i didn't mean it in a bad way.

CCG: I shall let it pass for now

GG: umm ok thanks i guess.

CCG: How is bec?

GG: he is good.

CCG: Would you like it if I showed you something?

GG: sure.

CCG: *Takes hand* Okay. Come along

GG: ok *follows you*

CCG: Here. I want this to be a surprize, so close your eyes, okay?

GG: ok. *closes my eyes*

CCG: *Opens door and takes Jade inside. Dripping is heard in the room* Okay, open your eyes

GG: *opens eyes* oh my god

CCG: *The bodies of a dozen people are sturn all over the room, a few beheaded, a dew disembowled and a few mutalated beyond belief*

GG: . what is this place?

CCG: I was bored, so I decided to make some art. Heheheh

GG: this is just sick. your sick.

CCG: What?

GG: you don't do this, your a psycho

CCG: I did. It's rather beautiful, is it not? *Walks to Vriska's body* For example dear little spider, once hidious with hate and malice is now gorgous with her blood. Don't you see?

GG: i see you murdered her. your evil.

CCG: Evil? Hehe. No, you havvvveee it alll wrong. Perhaps you should join her as well?

GG: i have nothing wrong. your a monster and i'm not going to join her. *turns around and tries to open the door.*

CCG: Ah, ah, ah. I believe that may be locked. I do have the key however. *Dangles key*\

CCG: ((Is this creepy?))

GG: ((just a little bit, but its funny kinda to.)

GG: let me out you creep.

CCG: ((O - O Funny? Damn))

CCG: Let me think...How about no?

GG: ((lol))

GG: let me out NOW, YOUR PSYCHO MONSTER!

CCG: Heheheheheheh *Takes out syckles* How do want to die, dearie?

CCG: *you

GG: *starts to cry* i don't want to die and i won't

CCG: *Stops* And why is that?

GG: i don't know, but you have to have a reason not to kill me.

CCG: Wellll *Tilts head* I do like you, so that may stop me. To kill you or not? Oh I don't know!

CCG: What do you think, sweetie?

GG: don't kill i kinda like you to, before i found out about this. now i'm scared of you.

CCG: You like me? That's brillient! *Hugs jade* That's good~! That means I don't have to kill you and we can live happily ever after!

GG: *lets out a sigh of relief* yeah, happily ever after.

CCG: *Opens door* What do want to do? I can cook something for you or- I don't know! What do you wnat to do~?

GG: i just want to get away from this place.

CCG: Okie dokie! *Takes hand and leadss away*

GG: *smiles*

CCG: *Smiles back and leads to main room* Okayyy, what now?

GG: i don't know. you can pick.

CCG: Are you tired, cause i'm tired. Want some sleep?

GG: yeah.

CCG: *Lets go off hand and walks to room* Night, sweetie. Did you know we're the only ones left? *Steps on teleporter and disappears*

GG: *stands there* we are the only ones left... the only ones left. *sits down and just stared off into space* me and him only ones left. everyone is gone.

CCG: *The silence is your answer*

CCG: ((Is this creepy/sad now?))

GG: ((yes very))

CCG: ((Which one?))

GG: i can't do this. i'm all pretty much all alone.

GG: ((both))

CCG: *At the corner of your mind you hear a snap*

CCG: *A smile tugs at your cheeks*

GG: *smiles* hehehehehe

CCG: *Madness comes at the best of times to take away the pain*

CCG: *Two madmen stand in the hulk of stone and corpes*

CCG: *They find nothing wrong with that*

CCG: *They have a whole universe for their fun after all*


	7. Chapter 7, Okay, that changed quickly

Chapter Text

Dirk's Bro (Alpha Dave) [BRO] joined chat.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat.

BRO: ...

CG: UH

BRO: ..do i know you?

CG: NOPE

BRO: yeah didnt think so

CG: YEAH. YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE I KNOW

BRO: hm? who would that be?

CG: SOME HUMAN DOUCHE

BRO: what's his name?

CG: STRIDER. DAVE STRIDER

BRO: nah, that cant be his name, that's my name.

CG: ...WHAT

CG: OH FUCK

CG: NO MORE TIME SHENANIGANS I BEGGED.

CG: AND HERE YOU ARE.

BRO: i dont think its time shenanigans lil man

CG: FATE REALLY LIKE TO SCREW WITH ME

CG: YOU DON'T?

BRO: yeah, i think i might be dead.

BRO: which sucks

CG: OH, HM. WELL AT LEAST LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE HERE TO JOIN YOU

CG: WAIT WHAT YEAR IS IT FOR YOU?

BRO: hmm...2043?

BRO: i dunno.

CG: I THINK THATS IN THE PAST. NOT TOO SURE. IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, JUST DETERMINES HOW MANY DEAD PEOPLE WILL BE WITH YOU

BRO: yeah. so whats your name lil dude?

CG: LITTLE? I AM NOT LITTLE! I AM SIMPLY NOT AS TALL AS THE OTHERS! KARKAT VANTAS FOR YOUR INFORMATION

BRO: *chuckles* haha well karkat youre little to me, so there

CG: HMPH!

BRO: well whats up with you then lil man?

CG: NOTHING MUCH. SOLLUX DIED AGAIN, DON'T KNOW IF FOR GOOD. IT HAPPENS LIKE EVERY WEEK. A FEW MORE PEOPLE DIED TOO. I'M USED TO IT..

BRO: that sucks then. sorry about your friend.

CG: I THINK I'M SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND. WOULD YOU RATHER SLOWLY GO MAD OR GO INTO FULL INSANITY WITHIN A MOMENT?

BRO: hmm. well dont go mad lil dude that would be terrible.

CG: YEAH. I'M THE LEADER, THE ROLE MODEL. IT WOULD BE TERRIBLE IF THAT HAPPENED, IF THEY ACTUALLY DID TREAT ME LIKE THEIR LEADER.

BRO: *ruffles his hair playfully* well you seem like a pretty good leader lil dude.

CG: THANKS ADULT NOT A DOUCHE AT ALL DAVE

BRO: thank you for those wonderful words of encouragement

BRO: ill cherish them forever

CG: HEHE. I KINDA HOPE IF WE FINISH THE GAME MY DAVE WILL BE LIKE YOU

BRO: *shrugs* who knows. knowing myself i can be pretty unpredictable.

CG: TELL ME ABOUT IT

CG: NOT LITERLLY

BRO: yeah yeah i know its an expression

BRO: so whats lil dave like?

CG: THANK GOG. MY DAVE WOULD JUST TELL ME ABOUT IT, FOR 'IRONIC' PURPOSES. HE'S A DOUCHE USAULLY. ACTUALLY HE'S A LITTLE LIKE ME

BRO: tell me about it *grins*

CG: DOUCHE ON THE OUTSIDE, UTTER LOVABLE IDIOT ON THE INSIDE, ACTUALLY NOT LIKE ME, I'M A FUCKING PANSY ON TEH INSIDE

CG: *THE

BRO: totally a pansy

BRO: prettiest damn pansy ever

CG: WHAT? PRETTY? ME?

BRO: i was referencing to the pansy you were talking about

BRO: it seemed like a nice little pansy

CG: YEAH...SURE..OF COURSE.

BRO: yeah.

CG: AWKWARD

BRO: totally.

BRO: so what have you been up to then?

CG: KEEPING MY SANITY IN CHECK, KEEPING THE OTHER'S SANITY IN CHECK, THE USUAL. HERE IN THE DREAM BUBBLES I TALK WITH OUR DEAD COMRADES AND AVOID KANKRI

BRO: *ruffles his hair* well you seem to have been keeping up a good job of what you do. thanks for visiting me, now that you mention it.

CG: YOU'RE WELCOME.

BRO: well what kinda stuff do you even do in these bubbles?

CG: TALK WITH THE OTHERS, EXPLORE YOUR AND A FEW MEMORIES OF OTHERS. ITS A BIT LIE BEING ALIVE

CG: *LIKE

CG: I'M ALIVE THOUGH, SO I DON'T GET TO DO EVERYTHING HERE

BRO: ah well being alive is pretty fun

BRO: enjoy it while you can

CG: LIFE FOR ME IS STRESS MOSTLY. ANY TIME OF THE DAY WE COULD BE ATTACKED AND I HAVE TO WATCH WHAT WE DO. IF WE MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST MISTAKE WE CAN BECOME A DOOMED TIMELINE

BRO: doomed timelines suck too.

BRO: good luck not getting in one.

CG: YEAH. I ALREADY SAW ABOUT TEN DEAD VERSIONS OF EVERYONE AND A COUPLE OF ME. THANKS

BRO: ooh, dead people

BRO: well now i guess you can add me to that list

CG: YEAH. YOU KNOW ABOUT TROLLS?

BRO: hmm sorta. i just know the batterwitch is one, and that she needs to be brought down

BRO: are you a troll?

CG: SO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM? YEAH I'M A TROLL

BRO: hmm not really.

CG: ITS A CASTE SYSTEM BASED ON OUR COLOUR OF BLOOD. WE HAD 12, LIME WAS WIPED TO EXISTENTION. WE HAVE A MUTANT BLOOD THOUGH. FUSHIA IS THE TOP WHILE BYRGANDY IS BOTTOM, MUTANT THOUGH IS THE VERY BOTTOM

CG: I'M THE MUTANT, SO I'M THE BOTTEM

BRO: hmm. well i guess being a mutant isn't all bad.

Dirk's Bro (Alpha Dave) [BRO] disconnected.

CG: NO IT'S BAD. I LIVED MOST OF MY LIFE LIVING IN FEAR, THINKING THAT ANY MOMENT THE IMPERIAL DRONES WILL COME KNOCKING AND WILL CULL ME AND... I HAD THE DREAMS. DREAMS OF EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS, THE PAST OF MY ANCESTORS, OF BEFORUS. I SAW FALSE HOPE IN OTHER UNIVERSES WHERE EVERYTHING WAS BETTER. IMAGINE THAT. LIVING IN FEAR AND BEING IN SUCH DREAMS. ITS AWFUL

CG: AND NOW I'M ALONE AGAIN

CG: TYPICAL

CG: I DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS, I'M THE LAST ONE ON MY ASTORIOD. I'M IN A DOOMED TIMELINE

CG: I'M ALIVE

CG: AND INSANE

CG: BUT WORST OF ALL

CG: NO ONE KNOWS THAT EXCEPT ME


	8. Chapter 8, FLUFF! Kinda

(**I'm Karkat and Nepeta is sarumiuzame, bless their Homestuck loving heart**)

arsenicCatnip [AC] joined chat.

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] joined chat.

FCG: GRRRRR

AC: :33 *ac backs away a little* uh... hi...?

FCG: *CREEPS CLOSER* YOU'RE WEIRD

FCG: YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE MY USAUL PREY

AC: :33 e-eh? mew.. mew want to eat me? *ac gets scared*

FCG: NOT YET *CREEPS CLOSER AND SNIFFS HER* YOU'RE INTRESTING

AC: :33 ... i-interesting...? what do mew mean?

FCG: I NEVER SAW ANYTHING LIKE YOU *GOES CLOSER AND SITS NEXT TO HER*

AC: :33 *ac sits down* mew never saw trolls?

FCG: TROLLS? THEY SOUND WEIRD

AC: :33 *ac giggles* maybe its because im the furrst mew have ever s33n

FCG: YOU'RE A TROLL? YOU LOOK LIKE ME. AM I A TROLL?

AC: :33 hnn, i think mew are one.. but mew are diffuurrent... troll arent supposed to prey other wild animals... well... most of them hahah

FCG: HUH. THAT'S WEIRD. HEY, WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT...PELT. IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANY PROTECTION.

FCG: *POINTS CRAB LIKE BONES ON BODY* THIS IS PROPER ARMOR

FCG: *TO HIS

AC: :33 oh? *ac thinks he is talking about her tail* ... mew mean... my tail? hah, my tail is my tail, not an armor *ac smiles*

FCG: NO LIKE, THIS *BRABS A BIT OF HER COAT* THIS PELT, IT FEELS WEIRD TOO

FCG: WHAT DID YOU KILL TO GET THAT?

FCG: I NEVER SEEN ANY THING WITH THAT KIND OF SKIN

AC: :33 its my coat, it k33ps me warm furrom cold... and i didnt kill anything, a furrend of mine gave it to me.. its made of cotton

FCG: COTTEN? WHAT IS THAT? THERE ARE MORE TROLLS?

AC: :33 yes, there are more of us, and cotton is... this *ac points at her coat* but there are more colors of course, not only gr33n heheh

FCG: HUH. CAN I MEET MORE TROLLS?

FCG: I WOULD LIKE TO LEARN MORE

AC: :33 sure! but mew cant attack them, mewkay?

FCG: OKAY

FCG: I WON'T

FCG: I'M TOO INTRESTED

AC: :33 *ac stands up, smiles, and reaches furr the stranger's hand (as if to help him up)* my name is nepeta by the way

FCG: I DON'T KNOW MINE, CAREGIVER CALLED ME KRR'KT. HE'S NOW MY ARMOR

AC: :33 ... oh... uhm... c¿mmay i call mew.. karkat? or karkitty...?

AC: :33 *may

FCG: OKAY. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINEST THAT. WHAT? IS MY ARMOR WEIRD?

AC: :33 no.. its just... why would mew murder mewr lusus?

FCG: HE WAS DYING, A TRAP CAGHT HIM. HE WAS IN PAIN, IT WAS THE BEST CHOICE

AC: :33 oh... im sorry furr what happened to him... *ac frowns a little*

FCG: WE LIVED BY THE WATER AND THERE WAS ALWAYS THESE WEIRD TRAPS MADE OF A SHINY STONE. WE WERE RUNNING BACK INTO OUR CAVE WHEN HE WAS CAUGHT IN A TRAP

FCG: IDO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE?

FCG: *DO

AC: :33 the stones? no.. i think i dont

FCG: OH, OKAY, CAN I MEET OTHERS?

AC: :33 *ac nods and grabs stranger's hand* *ac starts walking* ... so... what's mewr name?

AC: :33 oh yeah, i forgot, hahah

AC: :33 *ac gets a little nervous*

FCG: YOU CALLED ME 'KARKAT'. *SNIFFS THE AIR* WHY DO I SMELL FEAR ON YOU?

AC: :33 ((wtf)) fear? mew mean... nervousness

FCG: ((SORRY THAT I'M WEIRD, I SAW A PEICE OF FANART AND WAS INSPIRED TO DO THIS)) SAME THING FOR ME

AC: :33 ((hahah, its mewkay, im a weirdo too lol)) i-its not the same, karkitty... im not afraid, im nervous, thats all *ac smiles sw33tly at cg*

FCG: OKAY. DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WEIRD

FCG: IS THIS THE OTHER TROLL'S CAVE? *POINTS TO HOUSE*

AC: :33 no... *ac frowns* thats not a nice thing to say... and yeah, its called hive *ac notices its ct's hive* and there lives my mewrail!

FCG: MOIRAIL? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. CAN I SEE IT?

AC: :33 heh, mewrail is not a material... its like... best furrend! right now mew are my new furrend, and purrhaps mew will be able to have a mewrail, well only if mew want to of course

FCG: OH, OKAY. I'M STILL CONFUSED, I THINK I'LL GET IT

AC: :33 heh, do mew want to m33t equius?

FCG: IS THAT THE NAME OF THE OTHER TROLL? OKAY THEN

AC: :33 *ac smiles and starts running towards ct's hive*

FCG: *RNS AFTER HER, WELL JOGGING, STILL CATCHING UP*

AC: :33 *ac decides to race with cg so she runs faster*

FCG: *RUNS A BIT QUICKER, BONES ON HIS SKIN CHINKING WITH THE MOVEMENT*

AC: :33 *ac senses cg's movements, she grins, and runs a lot faster*

FCG: *RUNS QUICKER, GRINNING*

AC: :33 hehehhh *ac starts jumping on tr33s and runs (?) faster*

FCG: *INSTEAD KEEPS RUNNING ON THE GROUND, CHASING HER FROM BELOW*

AC: :33 *ac glances at gc and smiles catch me if mew caaaaannnnn~!

FCG: IS THAT A CHALLENGE? *HOPS ON ROCK AND RUNS ON THE ROCKS, SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH HER*

AC: :33 *ac giggles* yes *ac runs as fast as a ... gepard (?) leaving cg behind*

FCG: *GROWLS AND RUNS UP TO HER, LEGS A BLUR* NONE CAN BEAT ME!

AC: :33 haahahahaaa! mew better get used to it! *ac runs even faster*

FCG: *RUNS EVEN QUICKER THEN SUDDENLY STOPS* I RECAMED YOU-

FCG: *NEPETA SLAMS INTO THE HIVE WALL*

AC: :33 *ac yelps a little in pain*

FCG: I DID WARN YOU *WALKS TO HER* ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED HEALING?

AC: :33 *ac sits there and puts a hand on her ch33k* yeah.. im fine..

FCG: SO, WE'RE HERE?

AC: :33 *ac stands up* yup, we're here ... *ac yells as loud as she can* equiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus! mew in mewr hiiiiiv33333333?!

FCG: ((WHO'S GOING TO BE EQUIUS?))

AC: :33 ((*shrugs* lets pretend he isnt home or maybe a time skip (?) ))

FCG: ((SURE)) IS HE HERE?

AC: :33 hnn... i think is isnt... the door must be broken by now... *ac shrugs* maybe we could just hang out

FCG: HANG OUT? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IMPLAED BY BLADES?

AC: :33 ..? *ac is confused*

FCG: WHEN I WANT TO DRY MEAT I TAKE SOME WOODEN SICKS OR SHARP STONES ON PUT THE MEAT ON IT THEN I PUT IT ABOV ESOME SMIKE

FCG: *ABOVE SOME SMAOKE

FCG: *SMOKE

AC: :33 ... mew know i can just f33d mew like a normal troll would, right?

FCG: LIKE A NORMAL TROLL? WHAT DO YOU EAT?

AC: :33 i like to eat fish, but i dont use sharp things to dry it.. i only leave it in the sun... some of the others like cookies, cereal, sw33ts, and pies

AC: :33 but im not certainly sure

FCG: *CONFUSED BY ALL THE NEW TERMS* SO...YOU DON'T EAT MEAT?

AC: :33 yeah, we do... but in a diffurrent way

FCG: CAN I TASTE...THESE THINGS?

AC: :33 sure thing! *ac takes out a cookie from her bag-coat-thing* try it, its so sw33t *ac purrs softly*

FCG: *SLOWLY TAKES IT WITH HIS CLAWS AND SMELLS IT*

AC: :33 *ac looks at cg and purrs a little louder*

FCG: *BITES INTO IT AND GASPS* IT TASTES LIKE BERRIES! ARE THERE BERRIES HER?

FCG: *HERE?

AC: :33 yeah! mew s33 the little purple things? well, those are the berries

FCG: HOW DID YOU PUT SO MANY IN ONE LITTLE PLACE?!

AC: :33 because they are not the /complete/ berry, its just a little piece of it

FCG: YOU ARE WEIRD

FCG: THIS IS WEIRD

FCG: SO WEIRD

AC: :33 why am i weird..? *ac pouts*

FCG: YOU LOOK LIKE THAT AND YOU'RE NICE TO ME

AC: :33 ... do mew want me to be rufe to mew? *ac puts an amused face*

FCG: NO, I LIKE THIS

AC: :33 then why do mew call me weird? *ac giggles a little*

FCG: YOU JUST ARE

AC: :33 im not weird, im kind and nice *ac smiles gently*

FCG: YOU'RE A GOOD WEIRD

AC: :33 *ac sticks out tongue at cg playfully*

FCG: *COCKS HEAD TO THE SIDE AND REPEATS THE ACTION*

AC: :33 *ac shuts her eyes with her tongue still out* hnnnnn!

FCG: HNNNN?

AC: :33 *ac opens one eye and looks at cg a little confused* *ac pulls her tongue back*

FCG: WHAT WERE YOU DOING? WERE YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT ME AS A MATE?

AC: :33 *ac's eyes shot open* p-pardon?!

FCG: I SAW LOTS OF PREY DOING IT. THEY THEN MATED

AC: :33 *ac blushes* what? no! i was just sticking my tongue out! *ac's pupils get thin*

FCG: BUT STICKING YOUR TOUNGE OUT MEANS A LOT OF THINGS. IT'S ALSO AN INVITATION TO ATTACK

AC: :33 well i was just playing, okay?! *ac panics and blushes more*

FCG: OKAY. I JUST DON'T GET YOUR WEIRD TROLL WAYS

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

AC: :33 *ac looks at ct* oh, hi equius! *ac smiles*

CT: D - Nepeta. What are you doing with this filthy troll in front of my hive?

AC: :33 i was hanging out with him, and dont call him that! he is my furrend... and we are infurront of mewr hive because he wanted to m33t mew

centaursTesticle [CT] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: THIS IS THE OTHER TROLL?

AC: :33 *ac nods* yeah, he's my mewrail: equius

FCG: *STANDS UP AND SNIFFS EQUIUS*

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

AC: :33 *ac giggles at cg's actions**

CT: D - *Starts to sweat* What is he doing?

centaursTesticle [CT] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: YOU SMELL LIKE ACTIVITY AND SHINY STONE

AC: :33 shiny stone..?

FCG: LIKE THE SHINY STONE THAT KILLED CAREGIVER * CROACHES DOWN AND HISSES* DID YOU PLANT THOSE TRAPS?!

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

AC: :33 *ac's eyes widen and, after looking at cg, she looks at ct* ... *ac looks at ct with sadness*

CT: D - Nepeta...Is he speaking of the traps I put to get leather?

AC: :33 ... mew... mew putted traps...?

CT: D - I needed to get leather for a machine. Who is this 'Caregiver'?

AC: :33 ... his lusus *ac points at cg*

CT: D - Oh gog. Is he wearing it on his body?

AC: :33 *ac nods* yeah

CT: D - Oh...oh dear

centaursTesticle [CT] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: WHY DID YOU KILL CAREGIVER?

AC: :33 ... *ac k33ps on stare-glaring at ct* *ac eventually starts growling softly*

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

CT: D - I needed some leather for a machine. Can you not understand that?

AC: :33 and why didnt mew go and find it furr mewrelf, zahhak?

CT: D - I was building other parts, I only had nine days to build it

AC: :33 mew could have asked furr help, and mew know that i purrfectly know where to find those

AC: :33 *ac crosses her arms*

CT: D - I did not know you back then

AC: :33 *ac growls in dissaproval* mew still could go find them furr mewrself, equius!

CT: D - *Starts sweating more* I...i am sorry

centaursTesticle [CT] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: *STARES AT HIM AND THEN SIGHS*

FCG: I SUPPOSE YOU DID IT FOR SURVUVAL?

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

CT: D - Yes, I suppose, the sea dweller would have killed me

centaursTesticle [CT] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO I GUESS

AC: :33 *ac looks away closing her eyes* mew know equius is stronger than eridan, right? besides, eridan is a wimp, even i could beat him

FCG: ERIDAN? IS HE ANOTHER TROLL?

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

AC: :33 yes

CT: D - He is a highb100d! He would have no dobt have killed me

centaursTesticle [CT] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

AC: :33 yeah, so what? mew are one too

FCG: CAN I MEET HIM TOO?

AC: :33 no! mew cant m33t him, sorry, but he is a douche... and i dislike him

FCG: A DOUCHE? WHAT'S THAT?

AC: :33 *ac shakes head* eridan, that's what a douche is... but dont say that word, its a mean word

FCG: MEAN WORDS? THERE ARE MORE?

AC: :33 no *ac lies to cg*

FCG: *YOU SEE ANOTHER TROLL WALKING TO EQUIUS'S HOUSE, IT'S VRISKA!* ((EQUIUS AND VRISKA LIVE LIKE A MILE AWAY OR SOMETHING))

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now arachnidsGrip [AG].

AG: OH? What is happening hereeee?

AC: :33 ((lol, i know.. but what is she doin' here?)) *ac looks at ag* oh, nothing vris.. i just met a new furrend, his name is karkat

AG: A frrrriend? Oh, you don't let me meet him? *Looks at Karkat seductivly*

AG: ((Another doomsday machine, or is that Eridan? I think they 8oth want that stuff))

AC: :33 *ac growls silently* ... do whatever mew want

AC: :33 ((wat?))

AG: ((Yeah, not very happy campers, eh?)) If you say so~~

AG: *walks up to Karkat*

AC: :33 ((i dont get it (?) )) *ac's pupils turn thinner*

AG: Hello, I'm Vriska Serkat, what is your name? *Looks at the 8ones that are 8arely covering him up with eye8rows raised*

arachnidsGrip [AG] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: NEPETA CALLED ME KARKAT

AC: :33 *ac stands there like an idiot not knowing what to do* ((also... can we do a karnep thing? i ship themmm))

FCG: ((SURE, I KIND OF SHIP THEM TOO))

FCG: ((IT'S JUST VRISKA BEING A FLIRT))

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now arachnidsGrip [AG].

AC: :33 ((*does a happy dance*))

AG: What a wonderfulll name. Would you like to get to know me 8etter?

AG: *waggles eye8rows*

arachnidsGrip [AG] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: ARE YOU TRYING TO MATE WITH ME?

AC: :33 *ac glares at ag*

AC: :33 ((wtf))

AC: :33 no! she's not!

FCG: IF SO THEN NO. NEPETA HAS ALREADY LAID CLAIM ON ME

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now arachnidsGrip [AG].

AC: :33 *ac looks at cg* ... pardon?

AG: Ooooo Nepeta, i didn't know you had it in you

arachnidsGrip [AG] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

AC: :33 no.. he thinks sticking out tongue is a request furr... that

FCG: YOU CARED FOR ME, GAVE ME FOOD AND DID THE TOUNGE THING

FCG: IT'S RATHER OBVIOUS YOU LAID CLAIM ON ME

AC: :33 that means furrenship, karkitty

Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

CT: D - Nepeta. I do not think he understands that

centaursTesticle [CT] is now arachnidsGrip [AG].

AC: :33 mew dont sayyy *ac looks at ct playfully*

AG: Weeeellll. I would suggest you roll with it. He looks like he can 8e fun

arachnidsGrip [AG] is now centaursTesticle [CT].

CT: D - I do

centaursTesticle [CT] is now arachnidsGrip [AG].

AG: If you know what i mean *winks*

AC: :33 *ac glares at ag* shaddap, vriska

AG: Oooo is that what you'll say to him?

AC: :33 *ac gets frustrated and she decides to run away* nyahh!

arachnidsGrip [AG] is now Feral!carcinoGeneticist [FCG].

FCG: *CONFUSENLY CHASES AFTER* WHAT'S WRONG?

AC: :33 nothing! *ac flash-steps and hides*

FCG: NOTHING? SHE SMELLED LIKE SHE WANTED TO LAY CLAIM ON ME TOO, BUT YOU DID IT ALREADY

AC: :33 *ac k33ps quiet and curls into a ball*

FCG: ARE YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM TO HAVE RETRCTED INTO THE PANIC POSITION. WERE YOU FINE WITH HER TRYING TO CLAIM ME?

AC: :33 ((i thought i was hidden (?) ))

FCG: ((KARKAT X RAY VISION! (X ))

AC: :33 ((lol!)) *ac k33ps on being quiet and hides her face on her kn33s*

FCG: WAIT, DO YOU WANT TO MATE? ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE SO I CAN GET YOU AND DO THAT?

AC: :33 ... no, ew... stop with the mating thing, karkat

FCG: DON'T YOU WANT THAT? I CAN SMELL IT

AC: :33 karkat, mew dont uncerstand emotions,

AC: :33 and im dead serious about my answer

AC: :33 *understand

FCG: OKAY, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE. EMOTIONS? WHAT ARE THOSE?

AC: :33 *ac k33ps quiet not wanting to answer that*

FCG: *CRAWLS OVER AND SITS NEXT TO HER, QUIET*

AC: :33 *ac senses cg* ... what is it...?

FCG: THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO TEACH ME SOMETHING

AC: :33 teach mew what? how to hide furrom what makes mew get furrustrated?

FCG: MAYBE

AC: :33 ... dont ever do this, mewkay? its a stupid thing i do

FCG: OKAY *STILL SITS*

AC: :33 ... sorry

FCG: FOR WHAT?

AC: :33 i made mew experience the furrst conversation with equius in which i wasnt happy

FCG: OH, IT'S OKAY. I AND CAREGIVER USAUALLY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHER THINGS

FCG: WE ATE THEM

AC: :33 ... dont eat me

FCG: NO, I WON'T EAT YOU, YOU'RE INTRESTING

AC: :33 ... interesting...? i still dont get it

FCG: GET WHAT?

AC: :33 the fact that im 'interesting'

FCG: YOU ARE

FCG: VERY INTRESTING

AC: :33 but... how interesting?

FCG: VERY. YOU WERE KIND TO ME, TALKED WITH ME, AND YOU MAKE MY CHEST HURT'

AC: :33 *ac looks at cg* ... hurt?

FCG: YEAH, LIKE THE AROUND WHERE THE BLOODPUSHER IS FOR MY PREY

AC: :33 i think mew mean heart... *ac touches cg's chest (where the heart is supposed to be)* here?

FCG: YEAH. IS IT NORMAL?

AC: :33 *ac blushes lightly* yeah.. it is completely normal, karkitty

FCG: DO...DO YOU HAVE IT?

AC: :33 have what..?

FCG: THE HURTING AT YOUR CHEST

AC: :33 uhm... yeah.. sometimes *ac smiles sh33pishly*

FCG: CAN I FEEL IT? IS IT ABLE TO BE FELT?

AC: :33 *ac blushes more and shrugs* i-i dont know.. i can only f33l mewr heart beat... and its a little fast

FCG: CAN I TOUCH YOUR'S?

AC: :33 uhm... *ac blushes* ... o-okay... *ac grabs cg's hand and puts it on her chest* ((not on her bewbs)) *ac's heart beat is really fast*

FCG: IT'S EXICTED. IT'S SO FAST, LIKE BA-DUM BA-DUM BA-DUM

FCG: I LIKE IT

AC: :33 *ac blushes more and her heart races*...

FCG: *PUTS HIS HEAD ON HER CHEST TO HEAR THE HEARTBEAT BETTER* IT'S SOOTHING

AC: :33 *ac shuts her eys and her heart races even more* ((tumblr?))

FCG: ((THEHOLYCHESSE ALL LOWER CASE))

AC: :33 ((okay, mine is sarumiuzame))

FCG: *HUGS HER, STILL LISTENING TO THE HEARTBEAT*

AC: :33 *ac calms down a little and eventually hugs back* *ac purrs softly*


	9. Chapter 9, Karkat, again

(I'm Karkat, again)

UC: h..hey! are you alright?

CG: WHO...*COUGH* WHO...ARE YOU?

UC: *goes to his side* h..how did this happen?!

CG: JACK NIOR...

CG: THE FUCKING *COUGH* ASSHOLE

UC: come on man...it will be okay..*puts pressure on the wound* you are gonna be fine.

CG: HEHE. YOU THINK? I'M...I

CG: *I'M DYNG

CG: NOTHING CAN BE FINE

UC: this? its just a flesh wound dude. youre gonna be okay. *puts more pressure to try and stop the bleeding*

CG: SURE, JUST...KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT

CG: HEY, CAN YOU PROMISE ME SOMETHING?

UC: what is it?

CG: WIN THE GAME

Dying!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now Dead!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

UC: I..i promise..

CG: *KARKAT'S BODY RELAXES AND HIS EYES CLOSE*

UC: no...

UC: i didnt even get his name...

CG: *YOU FEEL A DISTURBENCE IN THE ETHER*

UC: w..what..this feeling? what is it?

CG: *AS HIS CRIMSON BLOOD FLOWS, IT GATHERS INTO A SHAPE*

UC: w..what is this?

CG: *YOU SEE A...GRUB? A BRIGHT RED, SLEEPING GRUB IS PLACED IN YOUR HANDS*

Dead!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

UC: the hell is this thing?

CG: *OPENS EYES AND SQUEKS*

UC: is it..a bug?

CG: *SQUEAKS AGAIN*

UC: aww..its kinda cute.

CG: *A LITTLE CLAW SCRACHS YOUR FACE WHILE GIVING A SQUEAK RANT*

UC: ow..*he touches his won face* what was that for!?

CG: *POUTS AND SNUGGLES INTO THEIR ARMS* GRRR

UC: okay okay. *stands* no need to be such a pout.

CG: GRRR?

CG: *POUTS AGAIN, PLAYFULLY*

UC: what is even. okay cute bug thing, what are you? are you like a..troll baby?

CG: *NODS AND SQUEAKS*

UC: okay. where did you come from?

CG: *SHRUGS* GRRR GUU?

UC: okay...let me think...you sorta look like...him over there...but..how is that possible.

CG: *LOOKS AT KARKAT'S DEAD BODY* GRR... *SHIVERS AND HUGS UC*

UC: shh..its okay...*rocks the grub*

CG: *STARTS TO WEAKLY CRY* FEEE...

UC: shhh..aww dont cry grub dude.

CG: *STOPS CRYING AND SQUEAKS, POKING THEIR CHEEK* PIII

CG: PIIIIIIIIII...NNNK

UC: *pinches its cheek* graaaaaaaaaaaaay

CG: PIIIIIIIINNNNNNKKKKK

UC: graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy

CG: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKK KKKKKKK

CG: MUR

UC: Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aayyyyyyyyyyy

UC: face

CG: MUR?

CG: MUR

CG: FUUUU

CG: CKKKK

CG: ASSSSSS

UC: woah. dude. watch the language.

CG: FUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKASSSS *SNUGGLES*

UC: thats cute and awful all at the same time.

CG: ((I AM LOLING SO HARD)) MUR MUR *NODS*

UC: *places the grub on top of his head* well now...where should we go?

CG: SOL

UC: sol?

CG: SOL

CG: XXXXXX

UC: soolxxxx?

CG: SOL...LUX

UC: sollux?

CG: SOLLUX MR

UC: find sollux?

CG: *NODS AND CHEWS ON SOME HAIR ON THEIR HEAD*

UC: uhh. okay. know where he is?

CG: COMPUS

CG: COMPUT

CG: BWEHH

CG: COMPUTERS!

UC: ha! where do i find computers?

CG: ...ME DUNNO

UC: okay~ well lets see...*thinks*

CG: *STARTES AND CHEWS ON HAIR*

UC: *uncaptualouges telescope* this should help maybe...*examines where we are.*

CG: *SQUEAKS AND LOOKS WITH UC*

UC: ((what am I looking at?))

CG: ((I DON'T KNOW, A SIGN THAT SAYS "HERE ARE SOME MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTERS" OR SOMETHING))

UC: So squeaker. i found a sign that said "HERE ARE SOME MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTERS" wanna check it out?

CG: *SQUEAKS*

UC: so that is yes. okay. *begins walking towards the sign*

CG: *LOOKS AROUND AND SQEUAKS, POINTING TO A FIGURE IN THE DISTANSE*

UC: *uses telescope*

CG: *SQUEAKS WITHH JOY WHEN THEY SEE THAT THE FIGURE HAS TWO SETS OF HORNS*

UC: thats him?

CG: *NODS*

UC: okay~ *walks towards him*

CG: *WHEN THEY GET CLOSE THE GRUB JUMPS OFF THEIR HEAD AND SCURRIES TO SOLLUX* ((WHO'S GOING TO BE THE BIPOLAR ONE?))

UC: ((i am a horrible sollux. so you.))

Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: what the fuck?

TA: ((2orry iif ii 2uck at thii2))

UC: uh. hey!

UC: ((dont worry about it))

TA: *bend2 down to the happy grub* what the fuck ii2 thii2 here?

TA: ((Thank2))

UC: its a baby troll. he knows you. i think

TA: iit'2 red...kk?

TA: what the fuck diid you do to kk?

UC: hey i didn't do anything!

TA: then why the fuck ii2 he...a grub

UC: well...

TA: well what?

UC: i think...this kk person died..and then became a grub...

TA: kk...diied? how? diid you kiill my bud? *Eye2 2tart to 2parkle wiith p2ynoiic2*

UC: n..no! he said somebody named jack did.

TA: ...fuck

UC: whos jack?

TA: fuck fuck fuck. hey kk?

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *SQUEAKS*

Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: do you know where he went?

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Grub!twinArmageddons [TA].

Grub!twinArmageddons [TA] is now Crub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *NODS AND POINTS TO THE GROUND*

Crub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: what the fuck doe2 that mean? you know, per2on?

UC: wait what is happening?

TA: jack ii2 a homciidel douche and iim a2kiing kk where he went, the grub thiing ii2 poiintiing to the ground, what the fuck doe2 that mean?

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: 6 FEET...

CG: UNDER...

Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

UC: does that mean he killed him?

TA: 6 feet under? ii don't know, ii2 that what iit mean2?

UC: so..how tough is this jack guy?

TA: touch a2 the toughe2t fuckiing naiil2 iin the uniiver2e. how...how diid he diie? diid...diid you kiill hiim, kk?

TA: *tough

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *SLOWLY NODS*

Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: uhh *haviing a braiin freeze*

UC: i am so many kindds of lost.

TA: me too

UC: well uh. so jacks dead. do we get the good ending?

TA: kiind of

TA: we have to alert everyone, iin the dream bubble2 too

TA: then we have to kiill lord englii2h

UC: who the apple sauce is lord english?

TA: ...you are new around here

UC: yeah pretty new id say

UC: so are we gonna go fight him or what?

TA: he2 the ultiimate bo22, we can kiill hiim now ii gue22, ii could 2ee that whoever kiilled jack could kiill englii2h, but...

TA: kk ii2 now a grb

UC: huh...well how long do grubs take to grow up?

TA: he wa2 6 2weep2 before, 2o 6 2iix 2weep2

TA: fuck

UC: uhhhh. maybe we can speed it up?

TA: uh...yeah, ii thiink. we need dave

TA: ((Can you be Dave?))

TA: hey dave-a22hole!

unfortunateChaos [UC] is now turntechGodhead [TG].

TG: yo

TA: you 2ee thii2 grub?

TG: yeah what about it?

TA: that ii2 kk

TG: get the fuck out. you have to be screwing me.

TA: iit ii2, look

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG].

TG: okay. so what do you want me to do about it? grub sit him?

CG: *CHEWING ON UC'S HAIR WHILE GIVING A SQUEAKING LECTURE*

Grub!carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: no, u2e your tiime power2 and make hiim older

TG: hes eating that guys hair.

TA: ii know

TA: and he2 2queakiing

TG: okay so i guess ill age him or whatever.

TA: yeah, that would be niice

TG: *he does the thing, and makes him 16 human years old or how ever many sweeps that is*

twinArmageddons [TA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *NOW IS ON TOP OF UC AND STILL CHEWING THEIR HAIR, SPITS IT OUT* WHAT THE FUCK? I WAS TELLING YOU ASSHOLES TO DO IT SLOWLY!

turntechGodhead [TG] is now unfortunateChaos [UC].

UC: uhh.

CG: HEY

UC: hi

CG: SORRY I DIED

UC: sorry you died..too?

UC: wait what

CG: SO...WHAT NOW?

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: ...kiill lord englii2h?

UC: uh okay.

twinArmageddons [TA] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *LORD ENGLISH POPPED UP*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now Lord English [].

Sup?

Lord English [] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: *WALKS OVER AND PUNCHES HIM, LE FALLS DEAD*

CG: THAT WAS...

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TA: antiicliimatiic

UC: well

TA: yeah?

UC: uhh that was

UC: special

TA: yeah

TA: do we 2pme crediit2 or-

UC: i dont know at all dude.

twinArmageddons [TA] is now Credits [**].

**: Congrataltions!

UC: oh okay

**: This game is brought to you by Andew Hussie!

Credits [**] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: WHO?

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now Andrew Hussie [].

*pops from nowhere* Me!

UC: what is happening?

UC: i am scared.

(((I don't know bro, this was meant to be sad))

Andrew Hussie [] is now carcinoGeneticist [CG].

CG: ...WE BEAT THE GAME...

UC: ((it got really derpy really fast))

CG: ((I DON'T KNOW WHY))

CG: ((I'M SOBBING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME))

UC: So..do I just go..or..what?

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now turntechGodhead [TG].

TG: i have no idea, just stick around, we have aj

UC: uh. kay.

TG: *hands them some aj*

UC: *drinks the aj* thank you.

TG: *The cool drink sliding down your throat is like a haze lifting from your vision*

UC: oooh. good stuff.

TG: *The world suddenly starts swirling around you*

UC: oooh..jesus...

TG: *You blink your eyes and you wake up in your bedroom, it all a fan's dream*

UC: okay that was fucking weird.

TG: *You wake up and go to your computer, near it is a sign that says, "HERE ARE SOME MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTERS"

TG: *...You don't remember buying that*

UC: what is happening right here.

TG: *For a moment you could swear the homestuck plushies on your desk giggled*


	10. Chapter 10, Super AU

(I was Karkat)

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] joined chat.

CG: HELLO! WHO ARE YOU?

LP: my name is Lystan.

CG: NICE TO MEET YOU LYSAN! I'M KARAKT!

CG: *KARKAT

LP: nice to meet you karkat

LP: where is your lusus? your awfully young to be wandering around on your own

CG: YOU MEAN CRABDAD? I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR A WHILE...

LP: well don't you think we should look for him?

CG: CAN YOU COME WITH ME? TWO PAIRS OF EYES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

LP: of course!

CG: *TAKES THEIR HAND* LETS STARTS WITH THE BEACH, HE LIKES TO BE THERE

LP: ok. *walks with him*

CG: WHATS YOUR LUSUS LIKE?

LP: my lusus is a howlbeast and he is somewhat protective.

CG: MINE IS A GIANT, WHITE CRABMAN.

CG: HE'S PRETTY COOL!

LP: wow, he sounds so cool

LP: (scratch that)

LP: I'm sure he is.

3 sweep old! Karkat's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] joined chat.

CG: I KNOW! HE'S AWESOME, THOUGH SOMETIMES HE MAKES A LOT OF NOISE

CG: YOU'RE REALLY GLOWLY, ARE YOU OKAY?

LP: my lusus is too quiet sometimes. he'll pop out of nowhere and scare my half to death

LP: I'm fine. I just happen to be a rainbow drinker is all

CG: RAINBOW DRINKER? WHATS THAT?

LP: I drink blood...

CG: BLOOD? NICE, I LIKE BLOOD. ITS PRETTY

LP: your a strange little boy...most people would run

CG: WHY? DRINKING BLOOD ISN'T ACTUALLY WEIRD, I READ IN A BOOK THAT DRINKING BLOOD IS GOOD FOR YOU, IT HAS LOTS OF IRON AND 'NUTRIENTS'.

LP: your very smart.

CG: THANKS! KRABBS AND MISS KRABBS THINK SO TOO!

LP: who are Krabbs and Miss Krabbs?

CG: MY FRIENDS! HERE, WANT TO MEET THEM? *TAKES OUT TWO CRAB PLUSHIES, BOTH RED WITH BUTTEN EYES AND ONE WITH A WHITE NOW* THEY AN CRABDAD ARE MY ONLY FRIENDS, A LOT, RIGHT?

LP: *nods her head* you are very popular Karkat!

CG: I KNOW!

LP: we are at the beach. can you see your lusus?

CG: NO...YES! *POINTS TO SOMETHING WHITE LIEING ON THE ROCKS, HE RUNS TO IT*

LP: *follows him walking quickly to keep up*

CG: *CRABDAD IS LIEING ON THE GROUND, A STAB WOUND LEAKING RED BLOOD IS VISIBLE* HEY WAKE UP! *SHAKES HIM* ITS NIGHT!

LP: Karkat! he's bleeding!

CG: BLEEDING? OH NO HE IS! *CRABDAD IS VERY STILL...*

LP: he has to see a doctor! now! *picks karkat up and swings him in her back and lifts Crabdad up*

LP: it'll be ok. *starts running as fast as she can toward a veterinary clinic*

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now Vet [V].

V: how the fuck are you people

V: *who

LP: this little boy's lusus is dying! please help us

V: dying? why? what blood caste is he?

LP: red...bright red...

V: red? what? no, no fucking vet stuff for this fucking mtant, get the fuck out my fucking clinic.

LP: *lays karkat and crabdad down baring her fangs and hissing* I don't give a fuck about that! now fix him up or I will drain you bone dry you soulless motherfucker!

V: *takes out syringes full of toxic liquid* i don't surcive no-bloods! *charges*

Vet's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

Vet [V] joined chat.

LP: *punches him to the side and kicks a door down leading into a treatment room*

V: *chases after and trys to inject lp but injects crabdad*

LP: *grabs his neck with one hand and starts strangling him* do you have ANY idea how much shit just hit the spinning thing?

V: i don't give a fuck if i hurt the fucking crab, its caring for a fucking discrase of trollkind!

LP: *screeches with rage and bites him sucking all of his blood out. all of it*

V: *falls to the grond, dead*

LP: *touches the back of her throat and pukes it back up on his body*

V: *is now covered in teal blood*

Vet [V] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

CG: CRABDAD? *KNEELS DOWN AT THE BARELY BREATHING CRAB*

LP: karkat! are you ok?

CG: I'M FINE...I THIINK HE'S AWAKE...

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now Crabdad [CRABDAD].

LP: *hauls crabdad on the table* don't worry karkat well fix him up

CRABDAD: *WEAKLY SCREECHES, TOUCHING KARKAT*

LP: stay still. *rushes around looking for medical equipment*

CRABDAD: *PETS KARAKT WHILE CLICKING AWAY*

Crabdad [CRABDAD] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

CG: *CLICKS BACK, NUZZLING CRABDAD*

LP: *finds what she needs and gives him something to clamp on* this'll hurt...

LP: (brb in a minute)

CG: ((OKAY)) I DON'T CARE!

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

LP: (back)

CG: ((OKAY

LP: *uses a sterile needle and thread she found to stitch crabdad wound shut*

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now Crabdad [**].

**: *HISSES SOFTLY*

LP: *when she finishes she bandages crabdad wound, praying that poison won't kill him*

**: *CLICKS WEAKLY TO KARKAT AND STOPS BREATHING, KARKAT STARTS CRYING*

Crabdad [**] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

CG: *SOBS*

LP: *covers her mouth and starts crying* karkat...I'm so sorry...

CG: *CLINGS ONTO CRABDAD AND STARTS WAILING AND CLICKING, PLEADING FOR HIM TO COME BACK*

LP: *tries to comfort karkat*

CG: *HUGS CRABDADS BODY*

LP: shh, he's someplace better *hugs him and shooshpaps*

CG: *HGS HER BACK AND RUBS HIS EYES, CALMING DOWN A BIT*

LP: you would you like to live with me and my lusus? *still crying a little bit*

CG: Y...EAH

LP: *picks him up takes him to hive on the edge of a forest*

CG: *SETTLES DOWN IN HER ARMS* I WISH I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM...

LP: shh sweetie I'm sure he's still very proud of you for trying.

CG: BUT...I DIDN'T DO IT

CG: THIS IS YOUR HIVE?

LP: you helped. and now he's always looking out for you.

LP: yes. it's my hive.

CG: SO...*SNIFF* WE CAN MEY YOUR...LUSUS?

CG: *MET

CG: *MEET

CG: ((FUCK ENGLISH

LP: yes. we can see my lusus. *walks inside* Nikos, I'm home! and we have a new person to stay with us.

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now Nikos [N].

N: woof :[ Welcome Home

LP: *a huge wolf comes down a stair case and nuzzles his daughter but growls slightly when he sees karkat* stop it! his lusus...we couldn't...I'm letting him stay.

N: woof :[ But He Is A Stranger

LP: (bluh mobile! scratch what I said wolf does)

N: woof :[ What Has He Done To Be In Out Home?

LP: his lusus just died in his arms! *tears up* I won't let you kick him out on the street to get culled

N: woof :[ What? Why Didn'T You Tell Me Before? *Licks Karkat Gently*

LP: thank you Nikos.

Nikos's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

Nikos [N] joined chat.

N: woof :[ I Think He Need To Sleep *Karkat Is Falling Asleep In Their Arms*

LP: yes that would be a good idea. *takes him to her room and lays him in her recouperacoon then walks back down stairs*

LP: (I have to eat. be back in 30 min or so)

N: woof :[ How Did That Happen? ((Okay, Me Too))

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

N: woof :[ ((Hello!))

LP: he was walking around alone and I saw him. then we went to look for his lusus which was at the beach, but when we got there and found his lusus, somebody has stabbed him. I picked the kid up and put on my back and grabbed his lusus then ran to a vet clinic. the doctor wouldn't treat him and attacked me with a poison. he missed. I killed the vet out of rage and managed to get his lusus stitched up but he died because of the poison. I didn't think it would be so deadly...

N: woof :[ One Word Describes This Situation: Fuck.

LP: he's mutant blood.

N: woof :[ Double Fuck

LP: I don't know what to do.

N: woof :[ Me Neither. I Guess We Raise Him

LP: *nods in agreement. a loud scream comes from upstairs, and she runs to karkat side*

Nikos [N] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

LP: karkat are you ok?

CG: *POINTS AT THE OPEN WINDOW* SOMEONE...CAME HERE...

CG: THEY WANTED TO...HURT ME

LP: I won't let that happen.

LP: *closes window and locks it*

CG: *SHAKES AND HUDDLES TOWARDS TEH WALL OF THE RECOUPERACOON*

CG: SHE WAS...VERY SCARY

LP: come here *reaches into the recouperacoon and starts to pull him out*

CG: *COMES OUT AND HUGS HER*

LP: *hugs him back*

CG: CAN...YOU FIND HER? SHE SCARED ME VERY MUCH AND I THINK SHES GOING TO COME AGAIN

LP: of course I'll find her. you stay here with Nikos, nobody I've seen would ever think of making him mad.

CG: *NODS AND CLINGS ONTO NIKOS' FUR*

LP: *grabs throwing daggers* I'll be back in a flash.

CG: *NODS*

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now Nikos [N].

N: Good Luck

LP: *puts a cloak on to hide her glowing skin and heads out the door*

Nikos [N] is now ? [?].

?: *Steps out from the shadow of a tree*}

?: Greetings

LP: *wanders around sensing another person and tosses a dagger in their direction*

LP: who are you?

?: *Jumps out of the way and chuckles* I am Kefiri. Part of the Anti-Revolt group

LP: why are you here?

LP: to kill karkat?

? [?] is now Kefiri [K].

K: Yes. He is a danger to the empire

LP: he's three sweeps old. *tosses another dagger*

K: *Dodhes again* His blood and his mind will destroy the empire, bring it to ruin, it has been told. It is in his mutated veins

K: ((This is like a proper AU now))

LP: mutant this, mutant that, blood is just another bodily fluid that in fact *pulls a sleeve up her skin glowing like a flashlight* I happen to drink.

LP: (yeah)

K: *Chuckles* I warn you, don't drink that blood, it will rot you an destroy you from the inside.

LP: I highly doubt that...*charges kicking out toward her knees and slashing with another knife*

K: *gets hit by the knife and hisses from the pain* You filthy low-blood! How dare you harm someone like me!

LP: how dare you try and kill him! *slashes again*

K: *tries to get away but gets hit at the throat as she bended over to see the damage* You bitch...*Falls to the ground*

LP: *spits on her* have a terrible time in hell

LP: *stabs her in heart*

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

LP: *gathers her weapons and goes home* Nikos! Karkat! we need to go, now!

Kefiri [K] is now Nekos [N].

N: woof :[ What'S Wrong? Did You Get Rid Of Her?

LP: *packs a change of clothes, a few blood pouches, and a toothbrush*

N: woof :[ Whats Happening?

LP: yeah but she's from the Anti-Rebellion parts of whatever they have.

LP: Karkat is in bigger danger than I thought.

N: woof :[ What? How Much More?

N: woof :[ What Happened To The Troll?

LP: all three of us are in over our heads.

LP: killed her

N: woof :[ Oh. Okay...*Grabs His Favorite Bones And Puts The Sleeping Karkat On His Back*

LP: I hope the kid will be ok...*sighs* he's been through enough already...

N: woof :[ I Hope So Too. He Is Really Cute

LP: *smirks* I will never let you forget you said that. *goes to the door* goodbye everything I used to know.

N: woof :[ Good Bye Really Tastsy Bones...

LP: *leaves and treks further into the woods*

N: woof :[ *Walks After Her, Ears Twiching Now And Then To Pick Up Sounds*

N: woof :[ *Stops When He Hears A Rustling Sound*

LP: *walks till her legs won't hold her up anymore*

LP: Nikos, you hear something?

N: woof :[ Yes. It Sounds Like...

Nekos [N] is now ? [?].

?: H3LLO?

?: *COM3S OUT OF TH3 BUSH3S*

?: *R41S3S H4NDS* 1'M NOT H3R3 TO HURT 4NYON3

LP: who are you? *craws toward karkat and Nikos*

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

?: 1 4M T3R3Z1 PYROP3, 1 4M P4RT OF TH3 CULT OF TH3 S1GNL3SS, 1 M34N NO H4RM

? [?] is now gallowsCalibrator [GC].

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

LP: well... I'm Lystan Kafele.

LP: my lusus is Nikos and the kid on his back is Karkat

GC: OH MY GOG. YOU R34LLY DO H4V3 TH3 H31R?! OH MY FUCK1NG GOG. C4N 1 S33 H1M B3TT3R?!

gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now 8 sweeps old!gallowsCalibrator [GC].

LP: the heir?...I missed something...

GC: H3 1S TH3 H31R OF TH3 S1GNL3SS, H3 1S GO1NG TO S4V3 4LT3RN14!

LP: O_O...no wonder she wanted him dead...

GC: YOU H4V3 H34RD OF TH3 S1GNL3SS? WHO 1S 'H3R'?

LP: I've never heard of the signless and 'her' was someone from the Anti-Rebellion group. I can't think of her name right now though...

GC: OH NO. YOU MUST RUN! COM3 W1TH M3, W3 C4N PROT3CT YOU 1N TH3 C4MP.

LP: please I'm all for it. but I am a rainbow drinker.

GC: 4 R41NBOW DR1NK3R? K4N4Y4 W1LL F1N4LLY H4V3 4 F3LLOW...

GC: DO YOU W4NT TO KNOW 4BOT TH3 S1GNL3SS 4ND TH3 H31R?

LP: thank you.

GC: TH3 S1GNL3SS W4S 4 TROLL WHO L1V3D LONG 4GO, H3 S4W V1S1ONS OF TH3 P4ST, 4 P4ST WH3R3 BLOOD W4S S1MPLY BLOOD 4ND 3V3RYON3 W4S 3QU3L

GC: H3, TH3 PSYSON1C, TH3 DOROS4 4ND TH3 D1C1PL3 PR34CH3D TO TH3 M4SS3S TH3S3 1D34S, HOP1NG TH4T TH3Y W1LL DO 1T

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

GC: H3 W4S HOW3V3R C4UGHT BY TH3 H1GHBLOODS 4ND W4S DR4GG3D 4W4Y TO B3 CULL3D

LP: wow.

GC: 4S 4N 4RROW F1R3D BY TH3 3%4CUT1ONR FL3W 1NTO H1S S1D3, TH3 WORLD COULD LOOK 4T H1S BLOOD

GC: H1S C4NDY R3D BLOOD, MUT4T3D BLOOD

LP: well I believe blood is just another bodily fluid. I always have, and especially so since becoming a rainbow drinker.

GC: 4S H3 W4S DY1NG, H1S LOV3 FOR H1S P3OPL3 B3C4M3 4N 4LL CONSUM1NG R4G3 4ND H4T3 TH4T R4NG THROUGHOUT P4R4DOX SP4C3 4S TH3 V4ST 3XPL3T1V3, H1S F1N4L S3RMON.

GC: 4T TH3 3ND, H3 FORG4V3 4LL OF US FOR OUR S1NS

GC: TH3 H31R, K4RK4T, 1S TH3 1NH3R4T3R OF H1S BLOOD 4ND THUS W1LL D3STROY TH3 H3MOSP3CTRUM 4ND CR34T3 P34C3 1N 4LT3RN14

GC: YOU H4V3? TH4TS GOOD!

GC: YOU C4N B3COM3 4 M3M3B3R 1F YOU W1SH

LP: wow. *looks at karkat and nikos* we have no place else to stay, please take us with you to your secret lair.

GC: *G1GGL3S* 1 L1K3 YOU

LP: *smiles and wobbles up wincing as her muscles strain*

GC: H3R3 *PULLS 4W4Y 4 GROUP OF V1N3S COV3R1NG 4 STON3 W4LL*

LP: *slowly walks there biting her tongue with each step*

GC: *4 TUNN3L 1S TH3R3* FOLLOW TH3 TUNN3L, 1'LL B3 B3H1ND YOU, G4URD1NG TH3 H31R

LP: *takes her cloak off and uses her skins light to see*

GC: W3'R3 4LMOST TH3R3...

LP: ok. *continues walking seeing a light getting closer*

GC: 4ND PR3STO! *TH3Y 4RR1V3 4T 4 TR33 HOUS3 C1TY, M4D3 OF WOOD 4ND OTH3R PL4NTS, 4LL SURR4ND1NG 4 M41N, L4RG3 TR33*

LP: wow...*stares in wonder*

GC: OK4Y W3 N33D TO GO TO TH3 M41N T3MPL3, SO YOU JUST ST3P ON TH4T T3L3PORT4T1ON P4D 4ND YOU'LL B3 OFF, YOU GO, 1'LL ST4Y 4ND SP34RD TH3 WORD OF YOUR 4RR1V14L

GC: *RUNS 4W4Y*

GC: ((1S TH1S BOR1NG?))

8 sweeps old!gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now Nikos [N].

LP: alright...*steps on the pad vanishing and reappearing in the main temple* that has to be the weirdest thing I have ever felt...

N: *Shivers* I Know, This Is So New And Weird. A Temple? An Heir? So Confusing...

LP: (not at all. I love it!)

N: ((Thanks!))

LP: I get it.

LP: hows Karkat doing?

N: *Shakes His Head* I'M Too Old I Guess. He'S Fine, Asleep Like A Log

N: *Begins To Walk, Following Some Helpfl Arrows*

LP: I should wake him up. he's been asleep for a long time...*picks goes over to karkat and shakes him slightly*

Nikos [N] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

CG: MMMM. *OPENS EYES* WHA...?

LP: karkat, wake up...*gently shakes him*

CG: HUH? CRABDAD?

LP: we're in a tree house city. and I have a lot to tell you

CG: WHAT? WHATS HAPPENING? WHAT DID I MISS?

LP: I took care of the scary lady, but we had to run. we're safe here. and there's a lot you need to know

CG: OKAY, YOU CAN TELL ME LATER *JUMPS OFF AND LOOKS AROUND* WOW...THIS IS REALLY PRETTY, IS THIS A TEMPLE OR SOMETHING?

LP: yes it is.

CG: HEY, WHO'S THAT?

CG: *A FEMALE, GLOWING TROLL COMES DOWN SOME NEARBY STAIRS*

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now grimAuxiliatrix [GA].

LP: ? *gets close to karkat in an effort to protect him, still slightly uneasy from everything else*

GA: Welcome To The Main Temple, The Church Of The Sufferer. I Will Not Harm Karkat Nor You. I Am The Heir Of The Dolorosa, The Main Pristess, The Egg Keeper

LP: ok then...

GA: What Is Your Name?

LP: Lystan Kafele.

LP: my lusus is Nikos

GA: *Bows* Greetings, Keepers Of The Heir

LP: you must be Kanaya. somebody else mentioned another rainbow drinker...

LP: and I'm not his keeper. I took him in after his lusus died today...

GA: I Am Kanaya, Yes, I Rainbow Drinker Like Yourself, All Priests Are. Have You Drank The Heir'S Blood? What? The Lusus Died? How?

LP: no I haven't had his blood, and prefer not to talk about his lusus death

GA: Oh...I Understand, You Are Aware That We Do In Fact Have To Drink His Blood?

LP: um...no...*looks at karkat*

GA: Oh, Oh Dear.

GA: Does...He?

LP: no! he doesn't even know about the signless!

GA: What? How? Oh...How Old Is He?

LP: 3 sweeps, if a little more.

GA: Oh...Oh Dear...Thats Too Yong, Way To Young, He Should Have Been 10 Sweeps Old By Now...

GA: It Has Been 10 Sweeps Since He Came Out Of Teh Cavarns...

LP: well that's not what happened.

LP: somehow his age never changed

GA: Wait...So He'S Aging At A Very Slow Level...Oh Goodness...

GA: At About One Sweeps Per Three Sweeps...

LP: well. that's very strange... have any ideas why?

GA: Well Perhaps, He Might Not Be At The Bottom Of The Hemospectrum After All...

GA: You Have Heard That The Ones With Purple And Blue Blood Age Slower And Live Longer, Yes?

LP: *looks at karkat* this is one little boy that not only holds our fate in his hands, big defies almost everything we know...

LP: yes. in fact I'm a cerulean blood my self

GA: Yep, Pretty Much. I Aplogise For My Slang. Oh? You Are? Typiclly That Blood Colour Is Neauteral

LP: yes. I'm only 6 sweeps but I developed faster. and I haven't seemed to age for a long time

GA: Oh, That Is Intresting.

LP: *yawns* can we have a place to rest? we've been walking for miles, I can hardly stand now.

GA: Oh, I Understand Follow Me To Your Quaters

GA: *Leads To Large Room With One Huge Bed And Two Small Ones* This Is Where You Will Be Resting

LP: *follows with karkat and nikos following*

LP: (scratch that)

LP: *flops on the largest bed* hey this is really comfy!

GA: Well...That Bed Is Actually For The Heir...

LP: oh...*gets up and walks to another one*

LP: *falls asleep*

GA: *Leaves And Turns Off The Lights*

LP: *doesn't wake up til midnight the next night. her glow is somewhat bothering to the others*

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

CG: *TRIES TO PUT PILLOWS OVER HIS FACE* UGH...

CG: *STANDS UP AND GOES TO A CORNER WITH HIS PILLIOWS* MAYBE IT'LL BE DARKER HERE. *GOES TO SLEEP*

LP: *rolls over pulling a blanket over herself dimming the room significantly*

CG: *SIGHS HAPPILY AND SNOOZES BETTER, NIKO, WHO IS USED TO THIS SHIT, IS SLEEPING LIKE A LOG*

LP: *when she wakes up at midnight she has the worst muscle cramps* ow...owie...ouch

LP: (brb)

CG: ((OKAY))

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

CG: *WAKES UP WITH THE NOISE AND STUMBLES TO HER BED* ARE YOU OKAY?

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

LP: fine...ow...ok maybe not...ouch

LP: hand me my stuff please?

CG: OKAY *BRINGS HER STUFF TO HER*

LP: *shuffles through the bag and finds a blood pouch then drinks it* that feels so much better...*her cramps have let up*

CG: THOSE BLOOD WAS THAT?

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

LP: idk. it was from a blood bank. I had a friend who works there and gives me blood pouches sometimes.

CG: OH, CAN I TRY SOME?

LP: I'd say yes, but I'm not sure how all the people here would feel about that...

CG: HEY, IF THEY ARE GOING TO DRINK MY BLOOD I THINK ITS FAIR THAT I DRINK SOME TOO

LP: I'm not in charge here. maybe you could talk it over with kanaya

CG: I DON'T LIKE HER. SHE'S WRONG, HER BLOOD IS LIEING

CG: I CAN SENSE IT

CG: I DON'T THINK SHES REAL

LP: well when your were still asleep and we were in,the woods, somebody from here found us and told me and Nikos about the signless. if you were listening to kanaya you'd notice she said something about signless too.

CG: JUST BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SOMETHING EVERYONE HERE DOES, DOESN'T MEAN SHE IS A TRUTH SAYER. SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE AIR OF THE DOROLOSA

LP: she was the heir of the dolorosa, meaning they are related

CG: I KNOW. I CAN HEAR, SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER AIR. SHE HAS THE AIR OF A ROBBER WITH EIGHT EYES

CG: SHE IS NOT WHO SHE SAYS SHE IS

LP: *furrows her eyebrows in concentration* now that you mention it...she did have a deceitful feel to her

CG: YOU, AS A BLOOD PLAYER, CAN TELL THE TRUTH FROM THE SCENT OF BLOOD

LP: and hers smelt strange

LP: lets investigate, shall we?

CG: TAMPERING.

CG: ((IGNORE TAHT))

CG: YES *TAKES HER HAND*

LP: *gets up and walks out of their room and down the hall*

CG: SHH. PEOPLE ARE COMING

LP: *curses under her breath* of all the times to not have my cloak...*sniffs* wait...I smell the kanaya faker

CG: TO THE LEFT ARE THE PEOPLE

LP: I can sense that...*the mystery people turn the corner and see them*

CG: STOP. *THE GUARDS STOP*

CG: DO NOT MOVE AT ALL *THEY STOP MOVING ENTIRLY*

CG: WE CAN GO

CG: *TAKES HER HAND AGAIN AND GOES TO ANOTHER ROOM* OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO COOL!

CG: I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID THAT BUT I DID!

LP: *jaw drops* ...

CG: ME TOO! YOU CAN DO THAT TOO, RIGHT? YOU ARE HAVING THE VISIONS TOO?

LP: I don't have visions. but I have killer instincts

CG: THATS AWESOME TOO!

CG: MAGE OF BLOOD

LP: the kanaya faker was one of those guards, I'm sure of it.

LP: ? mage of blood?

CG: ARE YOU NOT AWARE OF YOUR TITLE, MAGE *HIS EYES ARE GLOWING RED*

LP: no *shakes her head*

CG: WELL THEN MAGE, YOU ARE THE MAGE OF BLOOD, CONGRATULATIONS

LP: what does this mean?

LP: I'm so confused...

CG: YOU ARE A PLAYER WHO UNIFIES

CG: BLOOD IS THE BEST BOND, THE STRONGEST

LP: a player? unify? I don't get it

CG: YOU WILL WHEN THE GAME STARTS. FIRST WE MUST FIND THE REBORN DOLORSA

LP: karkat are you sure you're alright?

CG: I AM NOT KARKAT, I AM THE &$%**# ^&*#$&, PLEASED TO MEET YOU

LP: o_o pleasure to meet you...

CG: I KNOW A SONG CALLED LIKE THAT...SHE IS HIDDAN IN THE CAVARNS, SHE IS BEING CONSUMED BY THE NIGHT-O-MARES

CG: WE MUST HURRY

LP: lets go then!

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] joined chat.

CG: *WALKS TOWARDS A WALL AND PULLS A NEARBY BOOK, MAKING THE BOOK LEAN OUT AND THE WALL DISAPPEARS* HERE

LP: *follows him with not the faintest idea what's happening*

CG: ALL WILL BE SAID IN TIME, YOUNG MAGE'

LP: *sighs*

CG: NO SASS. I HAD ENOUGH WITH MY MATESPRIT

LP: I'm not even say anything about that...

CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMM.

CG: VERY WELL

LP: *something in head clicks* aren't you the signless?

CG: GOOD GIRL! I WOULD GIVE YOU A COOKIE, BUT I SADLY DO NOT HAVE ONE

CG: ALSO KNOWN AS KANKRI TO MY CLOSE FRIENDS

LP: I'm a rainbow drinker anyway I don't really eat cookies...

CG: I KNOW, DEPRESSING ISN'T IT?

LP: Kankri. Hmm...why are taking possession of karkat?

CG: I'M DEAD. I DON'T HAVE A BODY AND KARKAT SAID I COULD OCCUBY HIS FOR A BIT

LP: how? when?

CG: SINCE HE ARRIVIED IN THE TEMPLE BOUNDRIES. I'M PRACTICLLY A GOD, WITH MY POWERS AND SHIT, I DO WHAT I WANT, SIMPLE AS THAT

LP: such as name me a mage?

3 sweep old! Karkat's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

LP: do you know why karkat isn't aging?

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] joined chat.

CG: OF COURSE I DO. HE IS ABOVE EVEN TEH FUSHCIA BLOODS, SO HE AGES SLOWER THAN THEM AND LIVES LONGER

CG: ALSO NAMING YOU MAGE WAS NOT SOMETHING I MADE UP, THE GAME DID

LP: but they live for millennia!

LP: and what is this game?! I'm confused enough as it is

CG: ((SORRY FOR THAT, I ACCENDENTLY SHUT MY LAPTOP OFF)) MILLIONS OF YEARS ACTUALLY. I DIED DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE EMPRESSES REIGN AND THAT WAS A COUPLE OF MILLION YEARS AGO

CG: YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE GAME? HAHA. OH YOU WILL, SOON ENOUGH

LP: (it's fine) wow you are old...

LP: I wanna know now!

CG: OH, OKAY, YOU WILL GET A HINT, SGURB

LP: all I get is a lousy name?!

CG: YES YOU DO, ITS PLENTY ENOUGH, WE ARE HERE

LP: smells clean and apple flavored...

CG: THE WASHING ROOMS, I GOT LOST IN THESE KIND OF THINGS WHEN I WAS ALIVE, THIS IS WHERE THE YONG DOLORSA IS

LP: her name is kanaya...I think

CG: YES IT IS

CG: GOOD REMEMBERING, LIKE YOUR ANSESTOR

LP: then why do you call her the young dolorosa?

LP: who was my ancestor?

CG: I HAVE TO BE ALL POSH AND MYSTERIOUS YOU SEE? CALLING PEOPLE BY THEIR TITLES IS ONE WAY. YOUR ANCESTOR WAS THE SCHOLO_R

CG: LOVELY GAL, SHE WAS, OUTLIVED ME BY A LOT

LP: the scholo_r?

LP: and she outlived you?

CG: YES. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO FOUNDED THE FIRST SCHOOLS AND PLACES OF LEARNING. SHE MADE A LOT OF TROLLS SMARTER. YES SHE DID, WAS KILLED BY A WILD BOOK

LP: what did she even do?

LP: (scratch that)

LP: a wild book? really signless?

CG: A WILD BOOK YES. A WILD, FLESH EATING BOOK WHICH WAS CURSED BY A VIOLENT BLOOD TO KILL 116 VIRGINS. SHE KILLED IT, SAVING THE LIVES OF 45 MORE TROLLS

LP: I'm scared now...still virgin...

CG: THE BOOK IS DEAD.

CG: BURNED REALLY

LP: doesn't help the impending feeling of doom I have right now...

CG: THATS THE NIGHT-O-MARES EATING YOUR BRAIN TISSUE

LP: wow I feel so much better -_-u

CG: I KNOW, RIGHT? *WALKS BY MANY WASHING CHAMBERS* NO, NO, NO, SOPER TAKER, NO, NO, YES *KNOCKS ON ONE CHAMBER* THIS IS WERE KANAYA IS

LP: why are we looking for her again?

CG: WELL SHE IS BEING EATEN ALIVE...

LP: then why did you knock shouldn't we bust the door down and kick some ass all guns blazing?

CG: I WAS TRYING TO BE STEALTHY BUT IF WE MUST...*THE DOOR FLIES DOWN AND HE STORMS INTO THE ROOM, IN TIME TO SEE A LITTLE WISP OF DARKNESS LEAVE THE ROOM THROUGH THE WALLS, KANAYA LIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR, ASLEEP* YIPPE KA YAY, MOTHERFUCKERS

Sunday 23 June 2013

LP: *uncaptchalougs assault rifle* we gonna fuck some shit up!

CG: *A FEW WISPS OF DARKNESS CHARGE AT HER, THE SIGNLESS SITS DOWN TO SEE WHAT SHE'LL DO*

LP: *shoots them seeing no other logical thing to do* WOO HOO!

CG: *CLEANS HIS NAILS, RAISING AN EYEBROW AT HER OUTBURST*

LP: *nothing seems to happen to them* Wtf?!

CG: *SIGHS AND CLENCHES HIS HANDS, ALL THE WISPS DISAPPEARING* THEY ARE CREATURES THAT FEED OF THE MIND, LOGICALLY YOU USE YOUR MIND TO DESTROY THEM, YES?

LP: *shoots some more* HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KILL THESE THINGS?!

LP: (scratch that) oh...

CG: DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE EXCELLENT MENTAL POWERS LATER ON

CG: *WALKS TO KANAYA AND LIGHTLY SMACKES HER FAVE*

CG: *FACE

LP: your going keep playing mind games aren't you?

CG: YEP

LP: *double facepalm combo* I should have know the answer before I even asked

CG: ONCE AGAIN, YEP

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now grimAuxiliatrix [GA].

GA: Ugh...Where Am I?

LP: why do we need this game so badly? or rather to play it?

GA: Game? What Game?

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

LP: idk but karkat/kankri/signless here rescued you taking me along for the ride

CG: IT DECIDES THE FATES OF TWO UNIVERSES, SO NO BIGGIE, RIGHT

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] is now grimAuxiliatrix [GA].

GA: *Looks At Karkat With Stars In Her Eyes* The...The Signless?!

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now 3 sweep old! Karkat [CG].

LP: well the heir being possessed by him yes

CG: *WINKS* THE ONE AND ONLY SWEETIE, OH FUCK MEULIN WOULD BE PISSED BY THAT COMMENT

LP: dude! your in a 3 sweep olds body!

CG: SO? I HAVEN'T BEEN LAID IN A COUPLE OF MILLION YEARS, IT GETS LONELY YOU KNOW? I NEED TO FIND SOME BIG, MATURE LADY, NO YOUNGLINGS THAT ARE HERE WITH ME

CG: TALK ABOUT A DRY SPELL!

LP: that was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.

LP: and seriously kid can't even get a boner yet!

CG: I'LL FIND A WAY...((I'M LAUGHING!))

LP: (Ikr? XD )

CG: WELL ANYWAY, I THINK WE SHOULD GO UP

LP: talk to me when your horny fest is up...*leaves and walks back to the wall he used to get there*

CG: *TAKES KANAYA WITH HIM UP* *STOPS* REALLY? DO YOU HAVE TO, NOW?

LP: *eye rolls and starts picking at her nails*

CG: *TALKS WITH HIMSELF, OR RATHER KARKAT OUT LOUD* I THOUGHT WE AGREED FOR A FEW HORS?

LP: _;

CG: NO, ITS BEEN ONE

CG: OH, WHAT? NO. UGH, SURE...*KARKATS EYES ARE NO LONGER RED* HELLO?

LP: hi karkat!

CG: HEY! *HUGS HER AND A VERY CONFUSED KANAYA* I"M BACK!

LP: I think I like you better than the signless *hugs him back*

CG: HE'S A NICE PERSON, JUST HE'S A 13 SWEEP OLD MAN IN MY BODY. WHO HAS LOST ALL HIS QUADTRENTS AND FRIENDS

LP: and it took it's toll.

CG: YES IT DID, HE TOLD ME TO HEAD TO THE MAIN ALTER. DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?

LP: I don't kanaya might though

CG: ((CAN YOU BE HER? I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE BY A KITTEN SO I KINDA CAN'T MULTI-ANYTHING RIGHT NOW*

CG: ))

LP: (I can try)

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] is now grimAuxiliatrix [GA].

CG: YOU KNOW WHERE THE ALTER IS?

GA: Yes I Do Know Where The Main Alter Is. If You Shall Kindly Follow Me I Will Show You The Way.

GA: *Leads Them To The Main Alter*

CG: *FOLLOWS KANAYA* OKAY NOW WE HAVE TO MAKE A BLOOD SACRIFACE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, WHAT IS IT?

GA: It Is A Sacrifice Of Troll Or Animal Flesh. Often Using The Blood As Part Of The Ritual.

CG: OH, WHOS GOING TO DO IT?

GA: I Don'T Volunteer But Should No Other Option Be Presented I Will Go.

CG: WE HAVE TO DO IT

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP].

LP: who does signless say should go?

CG: ((THE KITTEN IS STILL EATING ME, SHES MAKING SOUNFDS, OH MY GOG SO CUTR))ANYONE

LP: I'm not going.

CG: UGH, PANSYS *TAKES A SICKLE AND SLICES HIS HAND OPEN* WHAT NOW?

LP: I don't care what anybody says I'm not going.

LP: O_O

CG: WHAT?

LP: never mind...

CG: WHAT DO WE FO NOW?

LP: idk.

rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP] is now grimAuxiliatrix [GA].

CG: *THE BLOOD FOEMS AN ARROW POINTING AT A DOOR*

GA: It Would Be Advisable To Continue On. What Does The Signless Say To Do Now?

CG: HES SULKING

GA: I Presume We Should Follow.

CG: I THINL SO TOO

GA: *Walks In Direction Of Arrow*

CG: *FOLLOWS ER, TAKING LP'S HAND*

CG: *HER

GA: *Tries To Open Door* I'M Afraid It Is Locked. *Uncaptchalougs Her Chainsaw/Lipstick*

CG: *STEPS AWAY* UH...WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

GA: Open The Door. *Turns Lipstick Into Chainsaw And Hacks The Door To Pieces*

CG: UH...THAT WORKS

GA: Now What Is Here That Is So Important?

CG: *EYES TRUN RED* THANKS THE ROOM WITH THE PORTAL

GA: A Portal?

CG: YES, TO THE LAND OF ASH AND NOSES

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now rainbow drinker! lovelyPsycho [LP].

LP: it sounds...um...

CG: WEIRD?

LP: to put it nicely yes

CG: I KNOW, BUT THERE IS YOUR QUEST BED, MAGE, THAT WILL TURN YOU INTO A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY

LP: is this foreshadowing something?

CG: NO SHIT

LP: so I actually grow wings? jk

CG: YOU WILL, YES.

LP: o_O

LP: I've had stranger things happen today...

CG: LETS GO. *STEPS THROUGH THE DOOR AND ENDS UP ON A SOOTY ISLAND WITH A FEW VOLCANOES AND ROMAN RUINS* THIS IS IT.. *POINTS TO TOWER THAT IS REALLY HIGH* THE TOP IS THE LOCATION OF YOUR QUEST NED

LP: better start walking...*starts the long hike to her quest bed*

CG: *WALKS WITH HER, READING A FEW BITS OF TEXT CARVED INTO THE WALLS* I WOULD SUGGEST YOU READY YOUR GUN

LP: *uncaptchalougs her gun sniffing slightly* something doesn't smell all that welcoming

CG: I WONDER WHAT.

LP: somethings coming...

CG: *STANDS TO THE SIDE WHEN I GIANT BOOK COMES FLYING, ATTACKING LP*

CG: *A

LP: *shoots it, confetti from the pages flying everywhere*

CG: *IT LANDS ON THE GROUND WITH A THUMP* HERE COMES THE HERD...*SEVERAL DOZEN BOOKS COME FLYING IN, A FEW WITH TEETH AND FOAM*

LP: *swears and shoots them all down while starting to pick up the pace to her quest bed*

CG: *SAUNTERS AFTER HER, NOT GIVING A SINGLE FUCK*

LP: *huffs keeping up her pace*

CG: *WHEN A BOOK COMES TO ATTACK HIM, HE STOPS IT AND IT SETS ON FIRE, HE CONTENUIES DOING THAT TO THE NEAREST BOOKS*

LP: this stupid

CG: ITS A TEST OF CHARECTOR, STRENGTH AND BRAVERY. TO PROVE YOU ARE WORTHY OF REACHING GOD-TEIR

LP: *shoots another book* well so far it's been testing my nerves just dandy

LP: the book aren't even all that scary after a while!

CG: THESE ARE THE MNIONS * A LOUD ROAR IS HEARD IN THE DISTANCE*

LP: *random boss fight!* holy...

LP: *starts shooting toward the pages* I really hate books now!

CG: * A HUMUMGOUS BOOK, WITH GIANT TEETH, GLOWING GREEN EYEBALLS AND BLOOD STAINED ON ITS TEETH COMES FLYINNG*

CG: THAT THE YVINGER II, SONE OF THE VIRGIN EATING BOOK YOUR ANCESTOR KILLED

LP: well double fuck! *shoots at its eyes*

CG: THAT WON'T DO ANYTHING GOOD, YOU'RE JUST PISSING IT OFF. *IT ROARS AGAIN AND CHARGES, GASHING ITS TEETH*

LP: *jumps out of the way and lands to the side to avoid having to jump into lava to avoid being eaten*

LP: how did she kill it?! *shoots again*

CG: *THE BOOK LANDS IN THE LAVA AND FLYS OUT WITH A SCREAM, BURNING AND IT CHARGES AT HER AGAIN* SHE USED FIR

CG: *FIRE

LP: well it's dying now. *watches the book burn avoiding it's attacks and shooting at it sometimes*

CG: *A LOT OF ITS PAGES BURN UP AND IT LANDS, DEAD ON TOP OF LP*

LP: eww disgusting...*wiggles put from under it and shoves it into the lava*

CG: *IT SQUEALS ONE LAST TIME AS IT LANDS IN THE LAVA, A STAIRCASE FORMS THAT LEADS TO HER QUEST BED*

LP: I am never going near another book again in my life...

LP: *starts climbing the stairs*

CG: *FLOATS ANEAR HER, READING A SEMI-DESTROYED BOOK* ALMOST THERE

LP: shut up! *continues climbing*

CG: NOPE, I HAVE BEEN SILENT FOR 2 MILLION FUCKING YEARS, GOING TO TALK WHILE I HAV-OH FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOU- *HIS EYES TURN BACK TO NORMAL AND FALLS ON THE STAIR CASE* OWEY! OW...HEY! I'M BACK!

LP: *reaches top* I thought you said it was a bed not a slab of rock!

CG: I DON'T KNOW...I GUESS YOU SLEEP ON IT?

LP: pretty hard to sleep on a rock but I guess it'll work as tired as I am.

LP: *sits on the bed and lays down*

CG: *STANDS OVER HER* UH...YOU KNOW ITS ME NOW, KARKAT?

LP: yeah

CG: OKAY...I GUESS YOU SLEEP?

CG: SO...JUST SLEEP...

LP: kinda hard to...*rolls over*

LP: *starts dozing off*

CG: *COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE AND HIS EYES GO WIDE, LP DOESN'T NOTECE*

CG: *WHISPERS* YOU WANT ME TO...

CG: THAT'S MEAN...

LP: *falls into a medium light sleep*

CG: *NERVOUSLY TAKES OUT SICKLES* NO, I CAN DO THIS JUST, DO WE HAVE TO?

CG: ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD?

LP: mmph *turns toward karkat*

CG: *BITES HIS LIPS* I'M SO SORRY...*USES THE SICKLE TO CUT HER THROAT, SHE IS DEAD WITHIN SECONDS*

LP: *dies and her skin stops glowing. she looks subconsciously heartbroken*

CG: *STARTS CRYING AND CLOSES HIS EYES*

CG: *HER BODY STARTS TO GLOW AND STARTS TO LIFT*

LP: *tiny little fire flies come down and her quest bed starts glowing*

CG: *ON DERSE, HER DREAMSELF STARTS GLOWING TOO. IN ONE MOMENT THEY BECOME ONE*

LP: *when she becomes god-teir her skin flickers to a glow again*

CG: *SHAKES HER, STILL CRYING A BIT* ARE YOU OKAY?

LP: *her eyes open* I'm perfectly fine.

CG: *LOOKS AWAY* I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THAT...

LP: I feel better than ever actually...and these pjs are the bomb!

CG: BOMB? WHERE!?

LP: no it's an expression. it means I feel fantastic!

CG: OH, THATS GREAT! NOW WE...*COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE*

LP: what's wrong?

CG: HEY. WHAT DOES, 'PICKING UP LADIES MEAN?' KANKRI WANTS TO DO THAT

LP: it means he wants to get a bunch of girls in his red quadrants.

CG: OH...KANKRI! YOU'RE LIKE JEGUS! THAT WAS NOT HOLY OF YOU! ((ARE YOU BORED?))

LP: (nope. this a very cool adventure.)

CG: ((THANKS! I'M JUST A VERY VERY PARANOID PERSON)) YOU SOUND LIKE ONE OF THOSE TEEN TROLLS IN MOVIES, KANKRI. YOU'RE 13 SWEEPS OLD!

LP: what?

CG: HE SAID, 'SCERW THE RULES'

LP: I'm 6 sweeps.

LP: just so he knows

CG: HE JUST CURSED

LP: *smirks* hey kankri what was psionic like? he sounds more my type.

CG: HE SAYS THAT HE WAS WORSE AT FLIRTING THAN HIM BUT GOT ALL THE LADIES. HE WAS A LOVABLE DORK WHO LIKED TO MAKE VIOUS PRANKS AGANEST EVERYONE

LP: my suspicions have been confirmed.

CG: HE'S LONG DEAD THOUGH

LP: who says his descendant wasn't closer to my age? *eyebrow wiggles*

CG: UHH...WELL, I SAY GO FOR IT. HE'S VERY ANGREY NOW, SAYS HE DIED FOR US AND WE TREAT HIM LIKE THIS, HE'S SULKING IN A CORNER OF MY MIND.

CG: WELL, HE SAYS. HE DIED FOR A BETTER FUTRE

CG: HES NOW OFFICALY SULKING

LP: *her face softens* I'm sorry. he just wasn't acting the leader everyone makes him sound like...and I let all of his teasing and sarcasm annoy me. I mean he's been dead for a long time

CG: I MEAN, HE WASYOUNGER IN THE MIND, FROM WHAT I CAN SEE HE WAS SECLUDED AND WAS A WRIGGLER UNTIL HE HAS 8 SWEEPS OLD, SO MENTLLY HE'S A TEEN TROLL.

LP: plus loosing all your friends would be pretty rough to go through..

CG: THATS WHY HE WORE THOSE UGLY PANTS TOO

LP: ugly pants?

CG: YEAH, HIKED UP TO HIS CHEST

LP: *snickers*

CG: HE'S CURSING MORE. I THINK WE SHOULD GO BACK TO THE TOWN

LP: yeah

CG: CAN YOU FLY US?

LP: he said I would grow wings. I don't feel wings if I have them

CG: UH...THINK OF WINGS, THEY ARE PROBLY HIDING

LP: and I don't know how to fly.

CG: FLAP THE WINGS? MAYBE?

LP: *thinks "ok. this is stupid but here goes nothin. I really need my wings"*

CG: *AND MAGICLLY APPEAR A PAIR OF GLOWING CEAUTLIN WINGS WITH A WOLF FACE ON ONE WING, THEY LOOK LIKE A DRAGONFLY

CG: 'S*

LP: :D I did it! *jumps up and down fluttering her wings so fast they hum*

CG: THEY ARE REALLY PRETTY!

LP: I like them. *buzzes her wings a few more times lifting off the ground slightly each time*

CG: WOW!

LP: I need to practice flying...*buzzes get wings hovering, and trying to teach herself to fly. after much trial and error she gets it down and fly with ease. and pretty fast too*

CG: YOU'RE LIKE, SO FAST! SO CAN I FLY WITH YOU?

LP: *stops and hovers in front of him* sure!

CG: I HAVE TO GO SLEEP

3 sweep old! Karkat [CG] disconnected.


End file.
